Wedlok - Wedding News from Las Vegas, New York and Around the World: Advice Archives

May 09, 2008

Stressed-Out Brides: Relax With Wedding Goddess Meditation

CATEGORIZED AS: Advice , Ask Wedding Goddess

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Listen to Meditation for Stressed Out Brides

You have been blessed with the gift of love, and you are getting married. Congratulations!

There is nothing holier than two people uniting in the spirit of committed love. It increases the love that exists in the world. And it brings healing to our world.

So how is it that something so magnificent and meaningful can involve the planning of an event that can drive even the sanest and sweetest brides to be to the brink of despair?

It is not unusual to feel exhausted by the sheer amount of labor and emotional negotiating that goes on around planning a wedding. It’s supposed to be the happiest time of your life -- and you want it to be -- yet many brides and grooms feel confused and let down that they are not feeling happy all the time.

Sigh. Today’s wedding culture places the focus on the “event” rather than the “marriage “and many unsuspecting brides and grooms find themselves sucked into the vortex of wedding stress. You might find yourself buried in wedding tasks, overwhelmed rather than overjoyed!

The planning … the people-pleasing … the coordinating … the financing … the family dynamics … and then there are those very natural, yet ornery, fears and concerns about getting hitched. These can all become quite a challenge.

That’s why it is essential that you also make sure you take time out to de-stress, decompress and reconnect to the sacred nature of the journey you are on.

Finding true love and getting married is really is quite a blessing -- if only you have a chance to enjoy it!

When wedding planning sends you inter overdrive, take some time out. It is important to nourish yourself and restore yourself to a state of mindfulness and presence in your relationship and your life. Sometimes you just need a wake up call for your bridal soul … a reminder that what this whole “wedding thing” is truly about is sacred union with your beloved.

Although weddings can be stressful, they can also be very healing. It’s a chance to dress up and party with friends and families … and you should enjoy that! It is also a time of gathering people together in the spirit of love.

Most importantly, your wedding is the sacred threshold to the life you will share as a married couple.

When wedding craziness gets the best of you, leave it behind and do something else. See a movie, take a warm bath, cuddle up with your honey, looking into his eyes, or join me in this meditation to help you release the stressors and remember the sacred:

Click for my free wedding "Meditation for Stressed Out Brides" at Beliefnet.com

Continue reading "Stressed-Out Brides: Relax With Wedding Goddess Meditation" »

Posted May 9, 2008 5:27 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

May 02, 2008

Reduce Wedding Stress, Create Bridal Bliss

CATEGORIZED AS: Advice , Ask Wedding Goddess

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway answers your questions and helps relieve wedding stress. Please e-mail your questions, wedding challenges and column ideas to The Wedding Goddess.

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Although weddings can be stressful, they can also be very healing. Sure, your wedding is a chance to dress up and party with friends and families … and you should enjoy that! It is also a time of gathering people together in the spirit of love.

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Most importantly, your wedding is the sacred threshold to the life you will share as a married couple.

Here are some tips for holding it together, relieving wedding stress and staying close:

1. Recognize that it is easy to get sucked into the vortex of wedding planning stress, and overwhelmed by pressure and expectations of those around you.

You’ve got to include stress management, self-nurturing, and time to chill out as an integral part of the wedding planning process. Do things that help you stay centered.

2. Realize that everyone has something to say about your wedding. You’ll be showered with congratulations and gifts, and bombarded with unsolicited advice.

Make an agreement to make decisions together, and back each other up. Support each other!

3. It is a rare family that does not have a “Debbie Downer” who throws a little wrench into your wedding plans.

You have to set clear boundaries, and also learn to deflect the sometimes-negative vibes from well-meaning friends and relatives. You can’t please all the people all of the time… so please yourselves.

4. Getting married can stir up a lot of emotions. The process itself sets forth period of growth and change that can be nerve -wracking. Unresolved emotions may come to the surface to be explored.

Be prepared to do some inner work along with all the external preparations. Honor and address the fears that arise. Trust they are natural.

5. Our culture places a tremendous emphasis on having a great wedding and not enough on having an awesome marriage. It's okay to be temporarily obsessed and yearn for the perfect wedding -- but you have to keep your eye on what's truly important.

Don’t give the wedding day so much power! Step back and realize, the most important part of the day is not the day itself ... but that you leave the altar in the arms of the One you love … the One you look forward to building your life with.

Continue reading "Reduce Wedding Stress, Create Bridal Bliss" »

Posted May 2, 2008 10:01 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

February 18, 2008

Make Your Marriage Stronger - Create Your Own Personal "Love Manual" in 7 Steps

CATEGORIZED AS: Advice

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Read all 7 Steps to Make Your Marriage Stronger at Wedlok.com

The best wedding present any couple can receive is a roadmap to their future--a marriage manual prepared especially for them.

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This is a book that utilizes wisdom gained in the past yet casts and eye toward their future. It outlines what marriage will be like, how they can sidestep or deal with relationship and family issues, the path they will travel together, and what to do to keep love alive in times when life challenges the vows you make on your wedding day.

It would be something that paints a picture for the future they choose to share -- with words and images.

This is not a gift provided by your minister, priest, rabbi or family. Although clergy and loved ones may help you along, it is something that a couple must create for themselves. Your personal marriage manual is based on who you are as individuals, who you will become as a couple and what you plan to create together.

It's something that would include and acknowledge your vulnerable spots and provide a sense of direction in times of challenge. Although life throws its curves, a loving marriage, with a solid commitment as its foundation, can weather more than you'd imagine when you start off with a game plan and map out your intentions for the future. And it can be fun!

What you need: Buy a loose leaf note book, white and colorful loose leaf paper, scissors, glue and some pretty pens. Treat your manual like a very special homework assignment. You can do some of your writing on the computer, and later insert those pages in the manual, or write directly in the book, depending on what’s most comfortable for you both.

Find out more in Wedding Goddess. Order your autographed copy.

Continue reading "Make Your Marriage Stronger - Create Your Own Personal "Love Manual" in 7 Steps" »

Posted February 18, 2008 9:16 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

How To Make Your Marriage Stronger - Part 1

CATEGORIZED AS: Advice

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Editor of Wedlok.com

Step One: Create a Mission Statement for Your Marriage

The first step of any new enterprise is to create a mission statement. This applies to your marriage, as well.

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Brainstorm, discuss, process and bat around ideas until you come up with a "Marriage Mission Statement."

This will represent your mutual intention for marriage; what you want to be and build together. It can have one sentence or reflect a number of ideas. Example:

Our union gives us strength, power and fortitude to deal with all of life’s ups and downs, and it empowers us to contribute to others and the world. We are best friends, confidantes and partners, and we have many close relationships with people we consider "spiritual family." We are a couple who inspire others with our love and who model what it is to be in a great relationship.

Make a list of all the things you want your marriage to be, then blend them together in a clear, cohesive statement.

Find out more in Wedding Goddess. Order your autographed copy.

Continue reading "How To Make Your Marriage Stronger - Part 1" »

Posted February 18, 2008 9:06 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

How to Make Your Marriage Stronger - Part 2

CATEGORIZED AS: Advice

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Editor of Wedlok.com

Step Two: Expand your Vows

The vows you speak at your wedding may tend to be romantic, and on the short side. They are the foundation of your married life so give the wedding vows you exchange on the day you marry a special page of honor in your manual. Over time, you can expand them into a longer definition of your intentions for marriage.

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You can add in all the things you thought of afterwards, or the things that were too personal to share in public. These are very personal statements the two of you can come up with together. For example:

• We treat our love as sacred and we are responsible for managing our relationship.

• While we include others in our circle of love, we never take our issues outside the relationship, or talk negatively about each other to relatives because this dissipates our sacred bond.

• We consult each other on all major life issues, purchases and plans and yet give one another freedom and space to be individual and do our own thing.

Add in anything that you desire or want to build into your relationship. Over time, add to the vows as your learn more about what you both hold dear in married life.

<Find out more in Wedding Goddess. Order your autographed copy. em>Editor of Wedlok.com

Continue reading "How to Make Your Marriage Stronger - Part 2" »

Posted February 18, 2008 8:52 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

How To Make Your Marriage Stronger - Part 3

CATEGORIZED AS: Advice

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Editor of Wedlok.com

Step Three: Make a Life Plan and Put It in Writing

Sound unromantic? You'll be glad to have something in writing if you find yourself flailing about during that first year, wondering "is this how married life is supposed to be?" Make it fun to commit to your lives together on paper.

• A couple can create a book of wish lists and dreams as well as a timeline for their future: In a year we'll have a house; in five years a child. But is can also contain the more emotional and spiritual aspects of life together: we'll go to church or synagogue together; we'll spend 10 minutes every day just gazing into one another's eyes, etc. It may not be completely perfect, and some goals might take longer than others to achieve, but in the process of planning together, you will get to know more about each other, and get a sense of those areas where you are likely to disagree or need personal space.

• Freedom for each partner to pursue their own dreams must also be part of your plan, so that you each have the flexibility to pursue personal career goals and interests. Include three timelines and make them flexible – make them "within" a certain time line, instead of "by" a certain amount of time.

• The headings can be: Within One Year, Within Five Years and Within Ten Years. Be realistic but dare to dream. For example, if you know you want a house but do not have the funding, don’t pressure yourselves or be unrealistic by placing it in the "within one year" timeline. Give yourselves five years. That way, you can still focus on it, and maybe even attain it in a year … but without undue pressure.

Find out more in Wedding Goddess. Order your autographed copy.

Continue reading "How To Make Your Marriage Stronger - Part 3" »

Posted February 18, 2008 8:45 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

How to Make Your Marriage Stronger - Part 4

CATEGORIZED AS: Advice

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Editor of Wedlok.com

Step Four: Picture Your Future

Visual language is powerful. Craft a visual treasure map to help create the future you want to share.

Cut photos from magazines that illustrate the essence of your ideal life together and paste them in your personal marriage manual. Superimposed photos of yourself in a picture of that fabulous vacation spot, or cut out a happy family picture that represents how you'd like it to be, with the number of kids you’d like to have.

Visual cues give strong messages to the subconscious. Working together to find the images, and placing them in the book, will begin to expand your picture of life together.

These images are as powerful as prayers. In fact, they are visual prayers.

Find out more in Wedding Goddess. Order your autographed copy.

Continue reading "How to Make Your Marriage Stronger - Part 4" »

Posted February 18, 2008 8:37 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

How to Make Your Marriage Stronger - Part 5

CATEGORIZED AS: Advice

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Editor of Wedlok.com

Step Five: Document the Good Times to Create More

Establish rituals that make you both feel loved and happily married.

In his book, Soul Mates, Thomas Moore talks of those little life rituals that make the soul feel content. These are usually mundane yet sacred elements of living that keep the two of you connected, keep your dreams alive and accentuate your togetherness. It's these things – a call from the office every day, a romantic dinner at home on Fridays, going to your favorite restaurant or Inn once a year – that keep you both aligned with the goals you set forth.

List these in your manual as things that you do with, and for, each other. And document them with memory pages – ticket stubs, a post card of a special locale, a menu from a restaurant where you had a romantic dinner. When you establish loving rituals to look forward to, they will never become boring.

These little rituals become a part of who you are, together.

Find out more in Wedding Goddess. Order your autographed copy.
Continue reading "How to Make Your Marriage Stronger - Part 5" »

Posted February 18, 2008 8:32 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

How to Make Your Marriage Stronger - Part 6

CATEGORIZED AS: Advice

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Editor of Wedlok.com

Step Six: Include Plans To Help Hold on During with the Challenges

As Ann Morrow Lindbergh put it, "When you love someone you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment... and yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of the tide of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return."

To help deal with the terror that we all feel when it seems a mate is slipping away emotionally, come up with a "slip-proof" plan for marital ebbs.

• For example, formulate an agreement, such as: We will communicate to one another in a common love language; we'll each have a chance to air our feelings uninterrupted; we'll reach out for help from a special support person or an impartial party if the relationship is in trouble.

• While you do not want to focus all your energy on "what can go wrong," it is a good idea to acknowledge upfront that not every day will reflect the joy and union of your wedding day. What will you do on those days when you cannot see the divine light in one another? How will you find your way back home, to each other?

• No one knows your relationship, and your way of processing and healing relationship issues, like the two you. So set forth some guidelines or ground rules for healing your marital differences – before then happen – to the best of your ability. You will undoubtedly learn new things and improved ways to heal as your marriage goes on; add them in over time.

Find out more in Wedding Goddess. Order your autographed copy.

Continue reading "How to Make Your Marriage Stronger - Part 6" »

Posted February 18, 2008 8:11 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

Make Your Marriage Stronger - Part 7

CATEGORIZED AS: Advice

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Editor of Wedlok.com

Step Seven: Regularly Recommit To Your Marriage

Include some wonderful ways to celebrate and recommit to love in your personal Marriage Manual. You can celebrate and regenerate your love at every phase.

• Collect romantic readings and poetry that reflect your feelings for one another.

• Recommitment ceremonies, or renewal of vows ceremonies, are a great way to re-stimulate and re-live your original wedding vows – long after you've taken that walk down the aisle. If you ever doubt your marriage but still have faith in your love, you can "awaken" your marriage by renewing your original vows and/or creating or adding new ones. As life changes, so will your intentions for marriage.

• You can have a catered affair, just invite a few friends over to celebrate, or simply hold a private ceremony between the two of you.

• You don’t have to throw a party and hold a new ceremony in order to recommit your love. You can renew your commitment in a very simple and loving way. It can be as simple as reading a poem to each other before bed one night and declaring your love. One couple reads and re-reads their wedding vows every night before bed. Then they re-seal them with a kiss!

• This excerpt from Song of Solomon, in the Old Testament, is a beautiful example of selecting words that are simple, yet powerfully honor and express your love. You can just look each other in the eyes, hold hands and say: "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine." And so it is.

Every time you experience a ritual that declares your love, it’s like giving your love, your life, and your marriage a new infusion of energy or, even, a fresh start.

Find out more in Wedding Goddess. Order your autographed copy.

Continue reading "Make Your Marriage Stronger - Part 7" »

Posted February 18, 2008 7:55 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

January 03, 2008

Take Pictures of Your Wedding Planning Journey

CATEGORIZED AS: Advice , Trends

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Wedding Goddess Wisdom

Newly engaged! Congratulations. What a great way to start off the new year.

Don’t wait until the wedding day to take pictures. A camera is a must-have accessory. Whether you get a good camera or a bunch of disposables doesn’t matter.

Just find a way to capture the images of your wedding planning journey and have pictures developed and placed in an album as your journey to the altar proceeds. Having a record of your joy – and all efforts and emotions – will be a fun thing to look back on when it is all said and done and will help you realize how much love and effort you have put into your wedding.

While you are planning the big day, it is a great pick me up that you can go through times of doubt or stress.

Collect memories through photos and memorabilia (such as receipts, menus, match covers). Have the photos developed as you go along and create a truly meaningful wedding journey memory book.

Alternatives and additions: Keep a wedding journal of feelings and experiences, including the ups and downs; have fun documenting the wedding planning journey on video tape.

Continue reading "Take Pictures of Your Wedding Planning Journey" »

Posted January 3, 2008 5:50 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

December 17, 2007

Words of Wisdom for Stressed Out Brides - Find a New Way to Be S.E.L.F.I.S.H.

CATEGORIZED AS: Advice , Trends

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Excerpted from Wedding Goddess

Self care is as essential as breathing for a bride-to-be -- especially when you are stressing about wedding planning!

It is the time spent nurturing yourself, taking care of your unique needs and consciously preparing yourself for marriage that will make your journey to the altar so much more enjoyable and graceful. While planning your wedding -- and managing the myriad of responsibilities, relationships and emotions that come along with the package -- it is truly important that you try not to cut corners on nurturing yourself!

There is so much pressure on a bride to please others while planning her wedding that sometimes she forgets to take care of her own needs. My friend Dr. Patti Britton, a relationship coach, suggests for a happier trip down the aisle, it pays to be a little selfish. She calls it “extreme self care.”

Some brides get so caught up in the preparation – and things to do – along with the pressures from others that they are afraid to slow down for a little “me time.” Britton suggests that if you feel guilty about being selfish with your time and energy,give the word a new meaning. Take each letter of the word and imbue it with a more expansive and positive definition. Here’s an example:

S Nurture your SPIRIT.

E ENJOY moments alone.

L LOVE yourself.

F Keep FIT and FEEL good.

I Make your unique needs IMPORTANT.

S SHOWER yourself with gifts.

H Be HAPPY and open-HEARTED as you plan your wedding.

Fortunately, brides today are blessed with many options for self care. Massage, facials, manicures, pedicures and other beauty treatments are a standard part of the bride’s ritual preparation for her wedding day. Many brides include dieting, fitness and exercise in the months before the wedding. Go beyond the typical and into the realm of the fabulous by making traditional pampering more meaningful … and by seeking self-expression, physical exercise, emotional support and spiritual pursuits that massage her spirit and exercise her soul.

Photo by Lensgirl, reprinted from Wedding Goddess.

Continue reading "Words of Wisdom for Stressed Out Brides - Find a New Way to Be S.E.L.F.I.S.H." »

Posted December 17, 2007 5:52 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

November 14, 2007

Beyond the Wedding - Tips For a Healthy Marriage

CATEGORIZED AS: Advice , Information , Trends

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

These days, brides get married to the wedding before they get married to their mates. With so many choices and so much stress, it is easy to get lost in planning a great wedding and forget to focus on building a great marriage!

Here are some Wedding Goddess tips for stepping into married life with strenght and wisdom:

1. Be aware that getting married can stir up a lot of emotions. The process itself sets forth period of growth and change that can be very nerve -wracking. Once you decide to marry you will begin the process of getting ready for marriage … and unresolved emotions may come to the surface to be explored. Be prepared to do some inner work along with all the external preparations. Honor and address the emotions and fears that arise. Trust they are natural. Don't sweep things under the rug. There are things you can do in addition to pre-marital counseling.

2. Ask yourselves, and each other, A LOT of questions. Don't assume that married life will be the same as single life. And don't be afraid to get to know each other's truest feelings. It is important that you you delve into everything from how you'll raise your kids, to what kind of color scheme you want in your home, to how you will spend free nights at home once the wedding is over. Many brides and grooms tend to want to avoid the deep talks, and dwell on the surface aspected of getting married. Your married life will be a lot smoother if you communicate with and listen to. Be willing to hear things you may not like and agree with... find ways to compromise or give in to one another.

3. Picture Your Future. In addition lots of questions and thoughtful answers, begin to think about and visualize the life you want to share. What will it look like? What will your new roles be like? What kind of home and family life do you home to have. Although it is fun to day dream, it is very practical to give thought and vision to the life you want to create. You might even want to create a treasure map or a book of choices to guide you.

Continue reading "Beyond the Wedding - Tips For a Healthy Marriage" »

Posted November 14, 2007 5:16 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

July 03, 2007

7-7-07 is wedding date for thousands of couples

CATEGORIZED AS: Advice , Las Vegas , News

The media is full of reports of giddy engaged couples looking forward to getting hitched in Las Vegas on Saturday.

July 7, 2007 is being billed as the luckiest day of the century.

This week’s In Business Las Vegas in its column on tourism and gaming published an article titled An anniversary to remember that provides just a little insight into how crazy Saturday will be for local wedding chapels and officiants.

Continue reading "7-7-07 is wedding date for thousands of couples" »

Posted July 3, 2007 10:15 AM by Pete Codella | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This