By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

A very simple way to say goodbye to the ones you loved before is to go with your new love to the ocean and partake in a simple ceremony using sand, surf and the power of Mother Nature.

All you need is a stick, a couple of plastic baggies, a prayer in your heart and the intension to have a spiritually clean slate for marriage.

• First, walk down to the water and look out onto the vastness of the sea. Let the cleansing waters, salty sea air and ocean sounds wash over you and calm you. Feel yourself centered on the sand. Say a prayer:

Mother, Father, Divine Spirit of All there is,
Please fill us with your holy presence and guide us in this ritual of release.
May all we do here today serve to set us free spiritually.
May it serve to also spiritual set free (say names) with love.
And so it is.

• Using your stick, or covering your hand with a baggie so that you don’t get sand in your nails, write the name of the first person you need a spiritual divorce from. Write in a spot where the sand meets the shore; where is just about mud, and the next wave is likely to wash it away.

• Watch as the wave comes to claim the spot upon which you have written the name. Notice how nature so beautifully fills in the dents in the sand and smoothes the name over with water. And allow yourself to feel that person released from you spiritually, with love.

• Say this prayer: I surrender my attachment to (name), and I release her/him to the universe, with love and with blessings. I forgive (name) and ask that all be forgiven between us on the highest levels. I thank (name) for all he/she has given me. May (name) be blessed in all ways. (Name), you are free now and I am free now.

• Go on to the next person. Most of us have a few significant others to release. Repeat this process for the most significant and then do one final release for “all others.” You and your beloved can alternate, each doing a release after the other. Or you can do yours and then he can do his.

• When you feel you have spiritually released your former loves, stand again and gaze out at the ocean and allow yourself to feel the calming power of the Mother, healing you and your fiancé, and healing all those loved ones you said your spiritual good-byes to.

• End with a prayer. Mother, Father, Divine Spirit of All There Is, Thank you for you for you divine presence. Thanks you for your healing waters and for the sand that shows us all in life can be smoothed over and harmonized. Thank you for your blessings and for your light. May all those present and all mentioned move on with love and blessings in a way that harms none. And so it it!

• Then draw two hearts in the sand, where the surf cannot disturb them, to signify your new love and partnership.

© Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway 2011

Adapted from Wedding Goddess: A Guide to Turning Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss, (Perigee/Penguin). You can order an autographed copy here.

Posted June 12, 2011 8:08 PM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

If you are marrying for the second time, or getting married after having other long term relationships, it is important to find spiritual closure with the ones who came before.

Spiritually releasing ties you might have to old loves is also an important part of your emotional health--it enhances your readiness for a new marriage, and can help make your new union stronger.

In the Jewish faith, a spiritual divorce is called a “Get” and is something granted by a rabbi. In ancient times the get was the divorce; today it serves to help couples feel spiritually free of their former partner as well as legally unbound. While it is little more than a piece of paper written in Hebrew and signed by the clergy (in the Talmud it’s referred to as a Sefer Keritut, scroll of cutting off) some couples seek it as a decree that separates two souls from the holy union they agreed to on their wedding day. An annulment, in the Catholic faith, is a similar concept, in that is spiritually frees a person of that faith to marry again in the Church. In some indigenous cultures, marriage is in spirit and thus divorce is as well. Among one shamanic tribe in Mexico, a chief will bless a couple’s decision to separate if a new home and husband has been found for the wife. If that requirement is met, then the couple is absolved of financial and spiritual obligation to one another.

In any language and any cultures, a spiritual divorce is as important as a legal divorce, and is as relevant even if you never married the person who played an important romantic role in your life. Before you can fully connect to your new beloved, and before he can fully give himself to you, you both must commit yourselves to a spiritual cleansing of the imprints of relationships past.

Continue reading "Get a Spiritual Divorce Before You Marry Again" »

Posted June 12, 2011 7:54 PM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

So many interfaith and intercultural couples are marrying these days that blended marriages are now part of the norm. Still, any couple planning a wedding has questions about how to proceed. Here are four tips for interfaith and intercultural couples on religious protocol and choosing the kind of ceremony you want from my new book, Your Interfaith Wedding: A Guide to Blending Faiths, Cultures and Personal Values in One Beautiful Wedding Ceremony.

1. Be honest about where religion fits in. For example, if you family is not terribly religious and if you’ve not stepped into a synagogue since a childhood Chanukah party, would you want a Jewish ceremony in a temple with a rabbi and cantor? Or would you perhaps be most comfortable including a symbol of the religion, such as the breaking of the glass and a Hebrew prayer? Some couples “fake” religious beliefs to appease family. They worry so much about offending love ones. I suggest asking what do you two truly want? Most importantly, be completely honest with one another (and then, your officiant). Honor your heritage and your parents, but make sure you are creating this ceremony for the two of you – not just to please others.

2. If you are an interfaith couple, take a highly personalized approach. There are some particular challenges that interfaith couples face when it comes to the ceremony and the family. It depends of how religious the bride or groom is, and the situation within each family. As a wedding officiant I deal with it on a case by case basis. Overall, I believe in blending traditions, celebrating ancestry in a balanced way and including everyone there in a non denominational way. The ceremony should walk the middle line and have love as its common denominator. Then it can be seasoned with traditions and family participation. No one should be offended, and all should feel included.

3. Figure out, together, the general tone you would feel most comfortable with. Religious, non-denominational, civil, offbeat, humorous, solemn. Would something romantic and offbeat be more your style? On the spectrum between a formal and traditional ceremony and the wackiest exchange of vows you can think of, where are you? Somewhere in the middle, or somewhere on the edge, wanting to be different?

4. Select a Ceremony Style that will Make You Smile. With so many couples marrying outside of their faith, and/or physically marrying in a location other than a house of worship, an entire world of possibilities exists. Some of the best weddings are those that create a seamless blend two lives and two families while celebrating love as the common denominator. Seek to blend of the treasures of traditional with the contemporary. Be respectful of the traditions of your parents, your in-laws and the ancestors who came before them, but select a wedding ceremony style and tone that is truly suited to you and you beloved.

Continue reading "Tips for a Great Interfaith Ceremony" »

Posted May 16, 2011 4:54 PM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

To select the right kind of wedding for you, you have also to select the right officiant—or officiants.

Q and A With Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway on Interfaith Couples and Weddings.

You want the person who facilitates and guides this important milestone in your life to be someone you both feel comfortable with and confident about, someone who makes no judgments about your union and whose only concern is providing you a ceremonial experience that is all you want it to be.

It would be wonderful—and in many ways essential—to work with a clergyperson who is caring and who knows you or is willing to get to know you.

Perhaps you have in mind a family minister or a clergyperson from your own faith. There are many kinds of clergy and officiants available to serve modern couples, including Unitarian and Humanist ministers, open-minded rabbis and former Catholic priests. Or perhaps you were hoping to have your best friend ordained, like Joey, who presided over Monica and Chandler’s weddings on Friends? (Just make sure that kind of ordination is legal in your state.) For a civil ceremony, you might prefer a retired judge.

There is also a new genre of officiants and interfaith ministers who are trained by interfaith seminaries to create any kind of personalized ceremony for couples of all backgrounds. Many of them are hip, open minded, and willing to create the ceremony you truly want. They are often very glad to co-officiate with other clergy and even family relatives.

Seek someone who makes you feel so at ease on so many levels that you can relax on your wedding day, knowing you will be taken care of—and that there will be no surprises or unwanted preaching. One bride had a clergyperson who unexpectedly launched into a tirade of religious political commentary about Palestinians and Israelis in between her vows. “I found him offensive,” she says, “and could barely focus on the ceremony. It was so distracting.”

The right officiant is a must. This is the person who will lay down the foundation for your married life with a ceremony that celebrates your hopes and dreams and—it is hoped—blesses your union in a personal way. Sometimes this means talking your childhood clergyperson into flying in for your wedding or seeking a less traditional officiant.

You do not have to settle for a ceremony that is completely controlled by someone else. Even if you two decide to go the traditional route, ask to make adjustments to any language you cannot live with. (One bride couldn’t bear the idea of being pronounced “man and wife” and asked her clergyperson to make sure he said “husband and wife”; another asked her minister to replace the phrase “till death do you part” because “it was too negative sounding.”)

Even in traditional settings, look for the most open-minded clergypeople and, at the very least, insist on knowing exactly what will be said in the ceremony and what you will be asked to do. Also make sure you see the ceremony before the big day.

Thoughts to Ponder: Considering Who Will Officiate
Give some thought to who should have the honor of presiding over your wedding. Ask yourselves these questions:

* Do you want one officiant or would you rather have two—one from each faith or representing each family?
* Do either of you have family clergypersons you’d like to include? Will that person co-officiate an interfaith union?
* Do you prefer a male or a female officiant?Do you want someone who has a prepared script, or are you interested in co-creating or at least having input into your ceremony?

Always meet with potential officiants beforehand and ask some key questions. An initial conference call between all three of you could be a good way to save time and get to know each other before making a commitment. The initial consultation should be free. Find out what this person is truly able to offer you—a canned ceremony or a personalized approach.

Excerpted from Your Interfaith Wedding: Blending Faiths, Cultures and Personal Values into One Beautiful Wedding Ceremony by Laurie Sue Brockway.

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is a leading interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiant. She creates unique ceremonies for couples of all backgrounds and faiths, and is also widely recognized as a relationship coach, bridal stress expert and columnist. She is author of YOUR INTERFAITH WEDDING: A Guide to Blending Faiths, Cultures and Personal Values into One Beautiful Ceremony,YOUR PERFECT WEDDING VOWS: How to Write, Find and Select the Words that Express What is in Your Heart and WEDDING GODDESS: A Divine Guide to Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss. To help reduce wedding stress, get your personally autographed copy at www.WeddingGoddess.com.

Posted January 2, 2011 9:51 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

It's supposed to be such a "happy time" yet brides tend to get clobbered by stress on the way to the altar. Here are some of the stressors and some solutions from Wedding Goddess.

1. Bridezillas are made, not born. It’s easy to get sucked into the vortex of wedding planning stress, and overwhelmed by the stress, pressure and expectations of those around you. You have to include stress management, self-nurturing and time to chill out as an integral part of her wedding planning process.

2. Know what YOU want before everyone you know starts telling you what you're wedding should be. Before you run off to tell the folks and friends you are engaged, take some time for you and your beloved to get used to the idea. And to discuss the kind of wedding you want. When you start sharing the news, without having a clue about the experience you want to create, you are more vulnerable to pressure and influence from others.

3. Stay on the same page with the man you will marry. Make an agreement that you will make all decisions together, and back each other up. The moment there is a weakness in your partnership, you will both be swayed more easily by other people's opinions.

4. Everyone has something to say about your wedding. It’s a given. Just accept it. Whether they are paying for it or not ... no matter whom you are or what age. You’ll be showered with congratulations and gifts… and bombarded with unsolicited advice.

5. Everyone has an agenda for your wedding. It is a rare family that does not have a reason to be part of your big day for reasons other than the mere fact that you are getting married. People tend to see your wedding as a chance to fulfill their own needs. They tend to act out what it’s all about for them – not you! You have to set clear boundaries, and also protect yourself emotionally from the sometimes-negative vibes from well-meaning friends and relatives.

6. You can include loved ones without letting them run the show. There are so many creative ways to honor them in the ceremony and at the reception. Get over your desire to make everyone happy and focus instead on honoring family ties in a way that is meaningful to your marriage.

7. Getting married can stir up a lot of emotions. The process itself sets forth period of growth and change that can be very nerve -wracking. Once you decide to marry you will begin the process of getting ready for marriage … and unresolved emotions may come to the surface to be explored. Be prepared to do some inner work along with all the external preparations. Honor and address the emotions and fears that arise. Trust they are natural. Don't sweep things under the rug.

8. Your happiness in life (and marriage) DOES NOT hinge on your wedding alone. Our culture places a tremendous emphasis on having a great wedding and not enough focus on having an awesome marriage. It's okay to be temporarily obsessed and to yearn for the perfect wedding -- we all go there at some point -- but you have to keep your eye on what's truly important. Too many brides treat the wedding itself as something to be worshipped and served. Don’t give the wedding day so much power! Step back and realize, the most important part of the day is not the day itself ... but that you walked down that aisle and into the arms of the One you love … the One you look forward to building your life with.

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is a leading interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiant. She creates unique ceremonies for couples of all backgrounds and faiths, and is also widely recognized as a relationship coach, bridal stress expert and columnist. She is author of YOUR INTERFAITH WEDDING: A Guide to Blending Faiths, Cultures and Personal Values into One Beautiful Ceremony,YOUR PERFECT WEDDING VOWS: How to Write, Find and Select the Words that Express What is in Your Heart and WEDDING GODDESS: A Divine Guide to Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss. To help reduce wedding stress, get your personally autographed copy at www.WeddingGoddess.com.

Posted August 7, 2010 8:43 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

This New Year's letter was sent to me by an old, dear friend and I thought worth sharing with you all. The advice seems pretty wise. Sorry I cannot trace it's origins or author.

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants..
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009 .
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away
like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...

Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything..
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change..
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come..
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Last but not the least:
40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about. (You can send the link if you like).

This list was sent without an author's name. If you know the author, please let us know. Thanks!

Blessings for the New Year!

Posted January 3, 2010 8:29 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

These stress-busters For brides will help you navigate wedding planning.

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

If one of your holiday gifts just happened to be a marriage proposal and perhaps a sparkling new ring, congratulations. Every year I like to offer new brides my special tips for keeping sane and inspired when planning your wedding.

You've heard people complain that wedding planning is way too stressful. Indeed it can be. I am firm believer that a bride has to include stress management, self-nurturing and time to chill out as an integral part of her engagement and wedding experience.

It is a journey that is bound to have some bumps in the road, but no need to take the “Stress Express” to the altar. Taking care of you, and your relationship, and staying focused on what is most important, is the best way to reduce stress and keep yourself together. Here are some tips to get you through the tough spots:

Establish boundaries from the start: Some brides get sucked into the vortex of wedding planning stress, and overwhelmed by the pressure and expectations of those around her. You will not be able to please everyone or manage everyone’s emotions. Focus on managing your own … and being true to yourself. It’s your wedding, not your mom’s, sister’s, or your maid of honor’s.

Stay close to your groom: You will cut your stress in half if you two remain a united team.
You won’t see eye to eye on all things, but you must stand together and back each other up when it comes to making decisions. When well-meaning-but-meddling relatives try to sway you, stay strong and hold on tight to one another!

Savor the small stuff: From the day you become engaged, to the moment you say “I do” make every moment count. Savor even the little things you do to make your wedding special. Keep the focus that the Big Day is a sacred day. It is not just a party that needs planning … it is a marriage that you are preparing for. All these little things along the way are helping your prepare.

Do Something Un-wedding: When you feel the stress building, take time out, go for a walk, slip into a movie, get a massage, take a soothing hot bath, go for a manicure, write in a journal, meditate, listen to music. You have to love, honor and cherish yourself!

Manage your time on your wedding day. Nothing is more flustering to a bride than running late on your wedding day. Create a time line that includes everything from your morning coffee, to leaving for the ceremony, and stick as close to it as possible. Take control of time on your wedding day so that it does not add stress to the natural butterflies in the tummy.

Stay present: Don’t risk missing it all, or remembering it as a blur, because you were too busy agonizing over the details and the drama. Trust that your wedding will unfold as it meant to be and will be perfect for you. If you can stay present – rather than worrying or dazing out -- you can look one another in the eyes at the wedding altar and remember the power of that moment!

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is a leading interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiant. She creates unique ceremonies for couples of all backgrounds and faiths, and is also widely recognized as a relationship coach, bridal stress expert and columnist. She is author of YOUR PERFECT WEDDING VOWS: How to Write, Find and Select the Words that Express What is in Your Heart and WEDDING GODDESS: A Divine Guide to Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss. To help reduce wedding stress, get your personally autographed copy at www.WeddingGoddess.com.

Posted January 2, 2010 10:05 AM by Editor | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway answer's your questions and helps relieve wedding stress.

Ask the Wedding Goddess: Interfaith Love and Marriage

Dear Wedding Goddess,

Many clergy people refuse to conduct an interfaith marriage ceremony, or at the very least are uncomfortable with the idea. What is your personal philosophy on love and marriage?
- Interfaith Bride

Dear Interfaith Bride -

My philosophy is that love between two people is their business and their choice. Love between a couple adds a dimension of holiness to our world that cannot be categorized by religion or culture.

I believe a temple can be created wherever there is love. I believe in soul mates, and feel that the couples who are meant to be together have the ability to see one another through the eyes of the soul. That allows many feelings about "differences" to melt away.

Are there challenges? Yes, for some couples. But I have also witnessed many couples rise above them and successfully blend their beliefs into married life.

Many Blessings, Rev. Laurie Sue

Continue reading "Your Thoughts on Interfaith Love and Marriage" »

Posted February 16, 2009 9:31 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Excerpted from 'FInd Your Spiritual Soul Mate'

Are you are in between relationships?

This is a great time to reflect on important pointers on getting ready for love.

Prepare now so that you will be able to receive love and truly deal with a relationship when Cupid’s coveted arrow finally does pierce your heart!

1. Develop A Relationship With Yourself, First
The person you must fall in love with first is you. Too often people seek out others who will fill some inner need, as opposed to someone with whom you can truly share life. It’s important to recognize the distinction between "neediness and having someone," and "love and sharing from the heart." Dysfunctional relationships are born out of unions between people who don’t really know what it means to love, honor and cherish. People who love, honor and cherish themselves--or at least strive for it--are more capable of both giving and receiving that from a mate.

Continue reading "How to Have A Successful Relationship" »

Posted February 7, 2009 11:47 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

Who is my soul mate? When will I meet my soul mate? If you are wondering how to finally find your soul mate, read these tips about inviting true love into your life.

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Like many of you, I spent a good part of my adult life longing—and looking—for my soul mate. There were two things that helped to eventually bring my beloved and me together: I never gave up my faith that he existed. And I discovered the importance of getting ready for love. Just in time for a fresh start this Valentine's Day, here are a few pearls of wisdom on the topic, culled from my own experience and many years of work on the front lines of love and relationships.

Continue reading 'How To Find Your Soul Mate'

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is author of The Goddess Pages: A Divine Guide to Finding Love and Happiness (Llewellyn, Nov. 2008) and the e-course, Find Your Spiritual Soul Mate. She is moderator of The Soulmate Project on Beliefnet.

Posted February 5, 2009 9:05 PM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway will help relieve wedding stress. Please e-mail your questions and wedding challenges to The Wedding Goddess.

Christmas is one of the most popular days to pop the question. If you got an engagement ring yesterday, congratulations! Now, the fun of planning your wedding begins.

I am firm believer that a bride has to include stress management, self-nurturing and time to chill out as an integral part of her wedding planning process. It is a journey that is bound to have some bumps in the road, but no need to take the “Stress Express” to the altar, as so many brides do these days.

Taking care of you, and your relationship, is the best way to reduce stress and keep yourself together. Here are some tips to get you through the tough spots:

Establish boundaries from the start: Some brides get sucked into the vortex of wedding planning stress, and overwhelmed by the pressure and expectations of those around her. You will not be able to please everyone or manage everyone’s emotions. Focus on managing your own … and being true to yourself. It’s your wedding, not your mom’s, sister’s, or your maid of honor’s.

Stay close to your groom: You will cut your stress in half if you two remain a united team. You won’t see eye to eye on all things … but you must stand together and back each other up when it comes to making decisions. When well-meaning-but-meddling relatives try to sway you, stay strong and hold on tight to one another!

Continue reading "Stress-Busters for Newly Engaged Brides" »

Posted December 26, 2008 10:39 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

For many years I had a special altar where I would keep the prayers of those searching for love. Recently, I decided to make it a cyber prayer wall. Here is a recent prayer from Lisa; she asked me to share it here. To leave your love prayers, go to The Soulmate Project.

Dear Rev. Laurie Sue -- I had read about your love altar and I was not sure if you are still accepting love wishes to include on it, but wanted to ask anyway. This is not so much a romantic counterpart wish but this is my “love dream." -- Thank you. Kindly, Lisa

Lisa's Ultimate Love Wish

My love wish is to finally fall in love with myself. For far too long I have denied my own inner goddess and silenced my voice. I have allowed what others have said to me to continually bring me down and tarnish the way I view and feel about myself.

Continue reading "Lisa's Wishes for Love" »

Posted December 14, 2008 9:23 AM by Editor | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

Stay close to your groom!

You will cut your stress in half if you two remain a united team. You won’t see eye to eye on all things … but you must stand together and back each other up when it comes to making decisions. When well-meaning-but-meddling relatives try to sway you, stay strong and hold on tight to one another!

-- Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Posted December 2, 2008 4:47 PM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

From Wedlok.com

For some of us, one of our biggest challenges is loving ourselves! It is so important that we reguarly tune-up our self-esteem.

If you need a self-love boost or know anyone who might, check out my feature, 10 Ways to Honor Thyself, on the front page of Beliefnet.com today!

www.Beliefnet.com

Many Blessings, Laurie Sue

Posted July 25, 2008 5:21 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

By Laurie Sue Brockway

Go directly to the Meditation for Stressed-Out Brides

Find out more about the Bridal Meditation Shawl

You have been blessed with the gift of love, and you are getting married. Congratulations!

There is nothing holier than two people uniting in the spirit of committed love. It increases the love that exists in the world. And it brings healing to our world.

So how is it that something so magnificent and meaningful can involve the planning of an event that can drive even the sanest and sweetest brides to be to the brink of despair?

It is not unusual to feel exhausted by the sheer amount of labor and emotional negotiating that goes on around planning a wedding. It’s supposed to be the happiest time of your life… and you want it to be … yet many brides and grooms feel confused and let down that they are not feeling happy all the time …

Sigh. Today’s wedding culture places the focus on the “event” rather than the “marriage “and many unsuspecting brides and grooms find themselves sucked into the vortex of wedding stress. You might find yourself buried in wedding tasks … overwhelmed rather than overjoyed!

The planning … the people-pleasing … the coordinating … the financing … the family dynamics … and then there are those very natural, yet ornery, fears and concerns about getting hitched. These can all become quite a challenge.

Continue reading "Meditation for Stressed Out Brides-To-Be" »

Posted July 19, 2008 10:05 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

Here's a cool quote for enhancing self esteem and self appreciation.

"I want you to look in the mirror and say:
I accept myself unconditionally.
I am enough.
I do enough.
I have enough.'"

- Dr. Christiane Northrup

Posted July 14, 2008 5:37 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
from Wedlok.com

Looking for true love? Dreaming of meeting your soulmate? Or hoping to spruce up or heal your exisiting relationship?

Here's a special technique for letting the universe know you are ready for love:

Write a wish list of attributes that you look forward to experiencing in a relationship with your true love. Writing is a powerful way to turn dreams into reality. Written words make our goals clearer. They make our intentions firmer.

The list of relationship attributes can be anything you sincerely choose. For example:

* When we look at each other it feels like we are the only two people in the universe.

* My partner sincerely encourages my success.

* Together we create financial security and always have more than enough.

* We share the same or similar spiritual beliefs

* We love doing the same things.

* We have many spiritually aware friends.

Etc., etc. etc.....

Add to your list as new things come to you. Read it at least once a day for 30 days. This will reinforce these qualities and help you to write them across your heart.

To empower your own journey, do a good deed, and pray for others in search of love, or who seek healing for their relationships.

Posted July 14, 2008 5:28 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway will answer your questions and help relieve wedding stress. Please e-mail your questions and wedding challenges to The Wedding Goddess.

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Author, Your Perfect Wedding Vows

Personal wedding vows are a wonderful way to express your love on your wedding day.

Contained within those vows are the seeds of dreams to come true, and intentions for your married life. For many people, vows are the hallmark of the wedding ceremony. Imprinted in many of a mind is the romantic image of a loving couple looking deeply into one another’s eyes and calmly vowing their love and devotion on their wedding day.

Why then do many brides and grooms find themselves in the not-so-romantic mode of tearing their hair out at the 11th hour trying to transport feelings from their hearts and minds onto a blank piece of paper?

Because even though love may come naturally, vow writing or public speaking may not. Writer’s block and performance anxiety about wedding vows are not uncommon. It can be little scary when you think of pouring your heart out on paper, and then speaking it to you beloved in front of everyone you know.

It’s important to realize that personalized vows are meant to provide a sacred moment in which you can express your truest feeling for each other. When you are speaking to one another at the altar, you really do go into an “altered state” and the rest of the world fades away.

The vows you speak don’t have to be personally written – rather, you can “borrow” them from other sources. They are not meant to be a theater piece to impress or entertain others. And they should not stress you out! However, if the thought petrifies you, give some thought to how much you each want to speak during the wedding, or if you feel you will be too nervous to utter more than “I do!.

If you are up for exchanging vows, would you prefer traditional, classic vows, or more modern and personal vows? If you will be married in a traditional religious ceremony, you may be asked to speak classic traditional religious vows. In a non-denominational or interfaith ceremony, you can be more creative. Always speak with your officiant in advance about where vows fit into your ceremony. Whenever possible, select an officiant who will support you in expressing vows the way you feel most comfortable.

Ways to say I love you. There are many ways to weave vows into your ceremony. For example, your vows can be repeat-after-the-officiant style or they can be read to one another. You can utter them as part of your I dos, or speak them when you exchange rings. You can each decide on different vow, or share the same vows. You can even speak the same vow to one another simultaneously; or you can read from one long vow or statement, with bride and groom alternating lines. If you don’t want to say much, you can include the promises you would like to make in a longer question of intent, to which you only have to answer “I do.” Never try to memorize your vows. On your wedding day, the mind goes into Wedding La-La Land … it is too much to ask of yourself.

Creative and sacred ways to express your commitment. You can find your vows in poetry, popular songs or even greeting cards. You can also source ideas from the faiths or cultures you were born into. For example, from the Jewish tradition you might want to use the soulful line from Song of Solomon, “I am my beloveds, and my beloved it mine” or talk about the concept of soul mates from the Zohar or the Bible. Some couples adapt vows from the 7 Steps (known as Saptapadi) in the Hindu faith, such as “We will share each other’s joys and sorrows with courage and strength.” You can find lovely material from any spiritual tradition and adapt it into your vows.

Write your own vows. If you do want to write your own vows, take a moment to reconnect to the energy and magic that made you want to marry this person, and let the feelings flow. Jot down some notes:

1. What do you love about this man/woman?
2. What feeling pour over you when you think of his/her love for you?
3. What are your hopes and dreams for your married life?
4. What promises would you like to make?

Next, write a first draft. Begin by sharing why you love him/her (including cute and funny reasons) and letting him/her know how he/she makes you feel. Next, share things you look forward to experiencing together. Sprinkle in promises you would like to make. Summarize by sharing how grateful you are for his/her love and the opportunity to share your lives. Then go through the first draft; edit or add in new thoughts. Don’t be afraid to use humor – if that’s your style. (“I promise never to change the channel when the Yankee’s are on,” for example).

Speak from the heart: No matter what kind of vows you choose let your sentiments come from the heart. They do not have to be long. Approach them with a K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple, Sweetheart) and make them real. Those are the BEST wedding vows.

You'll find sample wedding vows in Your Perfect Wedding Vows E-book by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway.

Continue reading "How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows" »

Posted May 20, 2008 5:40 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway will answer your questions and help relieve wedding stress. Please e-mail your questions and wedding challenges to The Wedding Goddess.

Include Mom in Your Wedding, Give Her A Rose

Dear Wedding Goddess - My father is not comfortable "giving me away"with my mother. They are divorced. Rather than have her escort me down the aisle, how can I honor my mother in a special way? -- Disappointed

There is a non-denominational tradition of offering flowers to the moms, or to significant family members that might be fitting. It is called "Family Unity Rose Ceremony."

Usually, the bride and groom give a red and white rose – colors that represent unity -- each to their moms. It is particularly nice if bride and groom each give one flower to each mom, followed with a hug. This would also be a good time to publicly acknowledge your moms and thank them. Here is an example of one cermony I officiated.

As this bride and groom come before us to be married, they wish to acknowledge and thank their families for their love and support. As a gesture of unity between the families that are united on this day … and as an acknowledgement of the special people who have loved and nurtured this bride and groom … they will present a very special gift of flowers to their mothers.

Couple present roses to their mom's.

With these flowers, they welcome one another's families into the new family that is created by their marriage today. These flowers symbolize the love this bride and groom feel for each other extended to their loved ones ... and they are also symbolic of the merging of two families in love and unity.

Find out more in Wedding Goddess. Order your autographed copy.

Continue reading "Ask the Wedding Goddess: How Can I Honor Mom in My Wedding Ceremony?" »

Posted May 12, 2008 5:38 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Listen to Meditation for Stressed Out Brides

You have been blessed with the gift of love, and you are getting married. Congratulations!

There is nothing holier than two people uniting in the spirit of committed love. It increases the love that exists in the world. And it brings healing to our world.

So how is it that something so magnificent and meaningful can involve the planning of an event that can drive even the sanest and sweetest brides to be to the brink of despair?

It is not unusual to feel exhausted by the sheer amount of labor and emotional negotiating that goes on around planning a wedding. It’s supposed to be the happiest time of your life -- and you want it to be -- yet many brides and grooms feel confused and let down that they are not feeling happy all the time.

Sigh. Today’s wedding culture places the focus on the “event” rather than the “marriage “and many unsuspecting brides and grooms find themselves sucked into the vortex of wedding stress. You might find yourself buried in wedding tasks, overwhelmed rather than overjoyed!

The planning … the people-pleasing … the coordinating … the financing … the family dynamics … and then there are those very natural, yet ornery, fears and concerns about getting hitched. These can all become quite a challenge.

That’s why it is essential that you also make sure you take time out to de-stress, decompress and reconnect to the sacred nature of the journey you are on.

Finding true love and getting married is really is quite a blessing -- if only you have a chance to enjoy it!

When wedding planning sends you inter overdrive, take some time out. It is important to nourish yourself and restore yourself to a state of mindfulness and presence in your relationship and your life. Sometimes you just need a wake up call for your bridal soul … a reminder that what this whole “wedding thing” is truly about is sacred union with your beloved.

Although weddings can be stressful, they can also be very healing. It’s a chance to dress up and party with friends and families … and you should enjoy that! It is also a time of gathering people together in the spirit of love.

Most importantly, your wedding is the sacred threshold to the life you will share as a married couple.

When wedding craziness gets the best of you, leave it behind and do something else. See a movie, take a warm bath, cuddle up with your honey, looking into his eyes, or join me in this meditation to help you release the stressors and remember the sacred:

Click for my free wedding "Meditation for Stressed Out Brides" at Beliefnet.com

Continue reading "Stressed-Out Brides: Relax With Wedding Goddess Meditation" »

Posted May 9, 2008 5:27 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway answers your questions and helps relieve wedding stress. Please e-mail your questions, wedding challenges and column ideas to The Wedding Goddess.

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Although weddings can be stressful, they can also be very healing. Sure, your wedding is a chance to dress up and party with friends and families … and you should enjoy that! It is also a time of gathering people together in the spirit of love.

Most importantly, your wedding is the sacred threshold to the life you will share as a married couple.

Here are some tips for holding it together, relieving wedding stress and staying close:

1. Recognize that it is easy to get sucked into the vortex of wedding planning stress, and overwhelmed by pressure and expectations of those around you.

You’ve got to include stress management, self-nurturing, and time to chill out as an integral part of the wedding planning process. Do things that help you stay centered.

2. Realize that everyone has something to say about your wedding. You’ll be showered with congratulations and gifts, and bombarded with unsolicited advice.

Make an agreement to make decisions together, and back each other up. Support each other!

3. It is a rare family that does not have a “Debbie Downer” who throws a little wrench into your wedding plans.

You have to set clear boundaries, and also learn to deflect the sometimes-negative vibes from well-meaning friends and relatives. You can’t please all the people all of the time… so please yourselves.

4. Getting married can stir up a lot of emotions. The process itself sets forth period of growth and change that can be nerve -wracking. Unresolved emotions may come to the surface to be explored.

Be prepared to do some inner work along with all the external preparations. Honor and address the fears that arise. Trust they are natural.

5. Our culture places a tremendous emphasis on having a great wedding and not enough on having an awesome marriage. It's okay to be temporarily obsessed and yearn for the perfect wedding -- but you have to keep your eye on what's truly important.

Don’t give the wedding day so much power! Step back and realize, the most important part of the day is not the day itself ... but that you leave the altar in the arms of the One you love … the One you look forward to building your life with.

Continue reading "Reduce Wedding Stress, Create Bridal Bliss" »

Posted May 2, 2008 10:01 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Read all 7 Steps to Make Your Marriage Stronger at Wedlok.com

The best wedding present any couple can receive is a roadmap to their future--a marriage manual prepared especially for them.

This is a book that utilizes wisdom gained in the past yet casts and eye toward their future. It outlines what marriage will be like, how they can sidestep or deal with relationship and family issues, the path they will travel together, and what to do to keep love alive in times when life challenges the vows you make on your wedding day.

It would be something that paints a picture for the future they choose to share -- with words and images.

This is not a gift provided by your minister, priest, rabbi or family. Although clergy and loved ones may help you along, it is something that a couple must create for themselves. Your personal marriage manual is based on who you are as individuals, who you will become as a couple and what you plan to create together.

It's something that would include and acknowledge your vulnerable spots and provide a sense of direction in times of challenge. Although life throws its curves, a loving marriage, with a solid commitment as its foundation, can weather more than you'd imagine when you start off with a game plan and map out your intentions for the future. And it can be fun!

What you need: Buy a loose leaf note book, white and colorful loose leaf paper, scissors, glue and some pretty pens. Treat your manual like a very special homework assignment. You can do some of your writing on the computer, and later insert those pages in the manual, or write directly in the book, depending on what’s most comfortable for you both.

Find out more in Wedding Goddess. Order your autographed copy.

Continue reading "Make Your Marriage Stronger - Create Your Own Personal "Love Manual" in 7 Steps" »

Posted February 18, 2008 9:16 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Editor of Wedlok.com

Step One: Create a Mission Statement for Your Marriage

The first step of any new enterprise is to create a mission statement. This applies to your marriage, as well.

Brainstorm, discuss, process and bat around ideas until you come up with a "Marriage Mission Statement."

This will represent your mutual intention for marriage; what you want to be and build together. It can have one sentence or reflect a number of ideas. Example:

Our union gives us strength, power and fortitude to deal with all of life’s ups and downs, and it empowers us to contribute to others and the world. We are best friends, confidantes and partners, and we have many close relationships with people we consider "spiritual family." We are a couple who inspire others with our love and who model what it is to be in a great relationship.

Make a list of all the things you want your marriage to be, then blend them together in a clear, cohesive statement.

Find out more in Wedding Goddess. Order your autographed copy.

Continue reading "How To Make Your Marriage Stronger - Part 1" »

Posted February 18, 2008 9:06 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Editor of Wedlok.com

Step Two: Expand your Vows

The vows you speak at your wedding may tend to be romantic, and on the short side. They are the foundation of your married life so give the wedding vows you exchange on the day you marry a special page of honor in your manual. Over time, you can expand them into a longer definition of your intentions for marriage.

You can add in all the things you thought of afterwards, or the things that were too personal to share in public. These are very personal statements the two of you can come up with together. For example:

• We treat our love as sacred and we are responsible for managing our relationship.

• While we include others in our circle of love, we never take our issues outside the relationship, or talk negatively about each other to relatives because this dissipates our sacred bond.

• We consult each other on all major life issues, purchases and plans and yet give one another freedom and space to be individual and do our own thing.

Add in anything that you desire or want to build into your relationship. Over time, add to the vows as your learn more about what you both hold dear in married life.

<Find out more in Wedding Goddess. Order your autographed copy. em>Editor of Wedlok.com