- Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

From Rituals for Love and Romance (Healing Ebooks, 2011)
All rights reserved

Let us enter this New Year with Peace in Our Hearts, on Our Lips, in Our Prayers.

We call to spirits of the North. We honor Mother Earth and her abundance. May we stand steady on her ground. May this dear planet and all her children grow stronger every day.

We call to the spirits of the East. We honor wind and ask that new opportunities for peace fill the air and that the white Dove of peace flies freely in all nations.

We call to the spirits of the South. We honor fire and ask that we be infused with warmth, enthusiasm and passion for the mission of creating peace on earth.

We call to the spirits of the West. We honor water and ask that it cleanse the hearts and souls of all women and men, and sooth our angers and wounds so that we may never again thirst for war.

We call to the spirits of above, of below and within; we ask to be united with God, Goddess and Great Spirit of All That Is. With all the forces of the universe, we pray for harmony in our world.

Let Peace live in your life, and in your world. Let Peace live in your day-to-day, and in places far away. Let Peace abound, all around. May Peace be in your heart. Aho!

© 2008-2012 Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway. Adapted from The Goddess Pages.

This appears in the New Year edition of the Self Healing Expressiona Ezine.

A poll today from SodaHead.com shows that 63 percent of respondents think that black wedding dresses are "cool," while only 37 percent think they are "creepy."

Single people polled thought that black wedding dresses were cool by a 76 percent to 24 percent margin. But those who have already walked down the aisle did not go ga-ga over the idea. Married respondents were split 50 percent/50 percent regarding if black wedding dresses are cool or creepy.

See more on this poll here.

Everyone is so worried about money these days.

Money issues can make you feel stalled and stuck. When economic times are bad and money is tight, you might find yourself overcome with fearful thoughts and worry. Money problems can meddle with your sense of self-worth and value. Losing a job, business or career opportunity can be devastating and not having enough money can make you feel lesser than others who do.

It is so important to realize that good fortune comes to us in many forms, as both material and spiritual wealth. In times of trouble and financial strife, we still have access to the spiritual riches of the universe. That may sound like a cliché, but it is so true. Be ready and willing to see prosperity through your spiritual eyes and you may be delighted to discover the many ways in which wealth may abound in your life – even in the form of a kind gesture or a new opportunity.

When times are tough, we often focus on what doesn’t work and we forget to express gratitude for all that is working. As long as you are living and breathing, there is hope--hope enough to rise above painful circumstances and connect with a sense of greater good and greater material and spiritual wealth.

Try this self-blessing: I bless myself with the power to rise above financial pain and reclaim the abundance of the universe that is might. I set myself upon a healing path, and walk toward deeper awareness, prosperity, love, success and joy in life, and the good health to enjoy it.

Be inspired by this quote: “Do not let circumstances influence your thoughts and moods. By rising over them mentally, you will eventually rise over them materially.”- Remez Sasson

I came across the Plunge Project recently and enjoyed reading this great site by bride-to-be--turned-blogger, Nicole Christine (VanScoten) Denton.

Like many brides who love to share their journey to the altar, she started the Plunge Project as a place to document her own journey down the aisle. She loved it so much she decided to continued to blog after her November 6, 2010 wedding.

Nicole explains that her specialty is writing for real brides who "want more than your average cookie-cutter wedding yet still have a budget to keep in mind." But she also writes about married life, DIY projects, and other things that catch her fancy.

It's a really fun read. Find out more about Nicole and the Plunge Project here.

With the passage of the Marriage Equality Act, people from all over the country and all around the world are asking the question: can I come to New York City and get married? The answer is yes! Whether you're a lifelong local or someone who has dreamed of coming here your entire life, New York City is the ultimate spot for you to tie the knot.

Here's what you need to know:

Who can get married in New York now that the Marriage Equality Act has passed?
The Marriage Equality Act allows same-sex couples to get married in New York just like opposite-sex couples, with the same rights, responsibilities and privileges under State and City law.

Can I get married in New York City even if I don't live there?
Yes. Couples who reside in New York or in another state or country are all welcome to marry here.

When can same-sex couples begin marrying in New York?
The Marriage Equality Act allows same-sex couples to obtain marriage licenses starting 30 days after the Act was signed into law. State law generally requires couples to wait 24 hours after receiving a license before they can be married. For more information, visit cityclerk.nyc.gov.

How do I get a marriage license in New York City?
To get a marriage license, apply for one from the New York City Clerk’s office. Once you obtain a license, it is valid for 60 days. For more information, visit cityclerk.nyc.gov.

Can my spouse and I get married in New York City if we were already married in another state or country?
Yes. You and your spouse can get married again in New York, whether you reside here or not. (Note: New York already recognizes lawful marriages, including same-sex marriages, that were performed elsewhere.)

A very simple way to say goodbye to the ones you loved before is to go with your new love to the ocean and partake in a simple ceremony using sand, surf and the power of Mother Nature.

All you need is a stick, a couple of plastic baggies, a prayer in your heart and the intension to have a spiritually clean slate for marriage.

• First, walk down to the water and look out onto the vastness of the sea. Let the cleansing waters, salty sea air and ocean sounds wash over you and calm you. Feel yourself centered on the sand. Say a prayer:

Mother, Father, Divine Spirit of All there is,
Please fill us with your holy presence and guide us in this ritual of release.
May all we do here today serve to set us free spiritually.
May it serve to also spiritual set free (say names) with love.
And so it is.

• Using your stick, or covering your hand with a baggie so that you don’t get sand in your nails, write the name of the first person you need a spiritual divorce from. Write in a spot where the sand meets the shore; where is just about mud, and the next wave is likely to wash it away.

• Watch as the wave comes to claim the spot upon which you have written the name. Notice how nature so beautifully fills in the dents in the sand and smoothes the name over with water. And allow yourself to feel that person released from you spiritually, with love.

• Say this prayer: I surrender my attachment to (name), and I release her/him to the universe, with love and with blessings. I forgive (name) and ask that all be forgiven between us on the highest levels. I thank (name) for all he/she has given me. May (name) be blessed in all ways. (Name), you are free now and I am free now.

• Go on to the next person. Most of us have a few significant others to release. Repeat this process for the most significant and then do one final release for “all others.” You and your beloved can alternate, each doing a release after the other. Or you can do yours and then he can do his.

• When you feel you have spiritually released your former loves, stand again and gaze out at the ocean and allow yourself to feel the calming power of the Mother, healing you and your fiancé, and healing all those loved ones you said your spiritual good-byes to.

• End with a prayer. Mother, Father, Divine Spirit of All There Is, Thank you for you for you divine presence. Thanks you for your healing waters and for the sand that shows us all in life can be smoothed over and harmonized. Thank you for your blessings and for your light. May all those present and all mentioned move on with love and blessings in a way that harms none. And so it it!

• Then draw two hearts in the sand, where the surf cannot disturb them, to signify your new love and partnership.

© Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway 2011

Adapted from Wedding Goddess: A Guide to Turning Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss, (Perigee/Penguin). You can order an autographed copy here.

If you are marrying for the second time, or getting married after having other long term relationships, it is important to find spiritual closure with the ones who came before.

Spiritually releasing ties you might have to old loves is also an important part of your emotional health--it enhances your readiness for a new marriage, and can help make your new union stronger.

In the Jewish faith, a spiritual divorce is called a “Get” and is something granted by a rabbi. In ancient times the get was the divorce; today it serves to help couples feel spiritually free of their former partner as well as legally unbound. While it is little more than a piece of paper written in Hebrew and signed by the clergy (in the Talmud it’s referred to as a Sefer Keritut, scroll of cutting off) some couples seek it as a decree that separates two souls from the holy union they agreed to on their wedding day. An annulment, in the Catholic faith, is a similar concept, in that is spiritually frees a person of that faith to marry again in the Church. In some indigenous cultures, marriage is in spirit and thus divorce is as well. Among one shamanic tribe in Mexico, a chief will bless a couple’s decision to separate if a new home and husband has been found for the wife. If that requirement is met, then the couple is absolved of financial and spiritual obligation to one another.

In any language and any cultures, a spiritual divorce is as important as a legal divorce, and is as relevant even if you never married the person who played an important romantic role in your life. Before you can fully connect to your new beloved, and before he can fully give himself to you, you both must commit yourselves to a spiritual cleansing of the imprints of relationships past.

Worried that the world is going to end today on May 21, 2011? Concerned that you are single and may have to ascend solo to the heavens? Be proactive about finding your soulmate here on earth and you may find a miracle at the end of the day--you're still here and a new door to love has opened.

Why not try some spiring cleaning for the heart and soul. Hey, what have you got to lose?

It may seem wacky to think that a pile of old magazines or relics from relationships past that are collecting dust can keep new love at bay, but clutter and memorabilia can impact your love life. For all soulful singles who are standing by for love, and even those of your who are in relationships, I suggest that you utilize this stir of springtime to clean house in your life, on all levels, and get yourself even more tuned-up for love! I’m not the first to say it: a good, soulful spring-cleaning will bring you a fresh start for the season of love.

In order to truly be ready to engage in a relationship you have to be committed to bringing order into your life on ALL LEVELS -- physical, psychic, emotional, financial, and spiritual. It is often a process of gently releasing, letting go, identifying and giving up that which stands in the way of letting soul love in. This includes unsuitable relationships and unsuitable ties to old flames (you know the ones!). Let yourself mourn what you must leave behind -- an important process, even if you are leaving a very alive lover! -- and then you can move one.

There is a very specific spiritual law that states that “nature abhors a vacuum.” Get rid of something and something new can come in. All of the worlds religions have specific ways to release the old -- from body, mind and spirit -- and there is a reason for this: If your life is too cluttered or filled up with “stuff”, if your house is messy or your mind is disorganized, if you are not honoring your body or your spirit, it very hard to feel connected to your own divine nature and therefore it is difficult to create a life of your choosing.

This is the time to at least start to rethink your romantic game plan and slowly work your way toward transforming -- or releasing -- the relationships that are not your soul mate.

The best bet for a fresh start is to make symbolic gestures in the physical realm. Clearing the decks of dreck and disarray will help you create a healthy foundation for your life. And then, a healthy foundation in your life will help you create the space for your soulful love to come in. These things take time. Be gentle with yourself but start somewhere!

Try some of these “Life Cleaning” tips:

Here's a wedding planning stress relief tip: Manage your time on your wedding day.

Nothing is more flustering to a bride than running late for such an important date.

Create a time line that includes everything from your morning coffee, to make-up and hair, to leaving for the ceremony. Stick to it as closely as possible.

Plan for your whole day and leave some wiggle room for those unexpected last minute details.

Take control of time on your wedding day so that it does not add stress to the natural butterflies in the tummy.

So many interfaith and intercultural couples are marrying these days that blended marriages are now part of the norm. Still, any couple planning a wedding has questions about how to proceed. Here are four tips for interfaith and intercultural couples on religious protocol and choosing the kind of ceremony you want from my new book, Your Interfaith Wedding: A Guide to Blending Faiths, Cultures and Personal Values in One Beautiful Wedding Ceremony.

1. Be honest about where religion fits in. For example, if you family is not terribly religious and if you’ve not stepped into a synagogue since a childhood Chanukah party, would you want a Jewish ceremony in a temple with a rabbi and cantor? Or would you perhaps be most comfortable including a symbol of the religion, such as the breaking of the glass and a Hebrew prayer? Some couples “fake” religious beliefs to appease family. They worry so much about offending love ones. I suggest asking what do you two truly want? Most importantly, be completely honest with one another (and then, your officiant). Honor your heritage and your parents, but make sure you are creating this ceremony for the two of you – not just to please others.

2. If you are an interfaith couple, take a highly personalized approach. There are some particular challenges that interfaith couples face when it comes to the ceremony and the family. It depends of how religious the bride or groom is, and the situation within each family. As a wedding officiant I deal with it on a case by case basis. Overall, I believe in blending traditions, celebrating ancestry in a balanced way and including everyone there in a non denominational way. The ceremony should walk the middle line and have love as its common denominator. Then it can be seasoned with traditions and family participation. No one should be offended, and all should feel included.

3. Figure out, together, the general tone you would feel most comfortable with. Religious, non-denominational, civil, offbeat, humorous, solemn. Would something romantic and offbeat be more your style? On the spectrum between a formal and traditional ceremony and the wackiest exchange of vows you can think of, where are you? Somewhere in the middle, or somewhere on the edge, wanting to be different?

4. Select a Ceremony Style that will Make You Smile. With so many couples marrying outside of their faith, and/or physically marrying in a location other than a house of worship, an entire world of possibilities exists. Some of the best weddings are those that create a seamless blend two lives and two families while celebrating love as the common denominator. Seek to blend of the treasures of traditional with the contemporary. Be respectful of the traditions of your parents, your in-laws and the ancestors who came before them, but select a wedding ceremony style and tone that is truly suited to you and you beloved.

She stands 16 inches tall and is donned in a beautiful rendition of the royal wedding dress. Here's how they describe it on the website.

"On April 29, 2011, the world watched as the door to the Rolls Royce opened, and our first glimpse of England's royal bride took our breath away. Moments later, as she walked down the aisle of Westminster Abbey to wed her handsome Prince William of Wales, her radiant beauty and understated elegance touched our hearts forever. Now this stunning commemorative Kate Middleton doll - an exclusive from The Ashton-Drake Galleries - honors the royal wedding of Prince William and Princess Catherine with a stunning bridal portrait that features the Kate Middleton wedding dress replica and accessories in exquisite, authentic detail!"

The above photo is of the limited-edition portrait of Her Royal Highness, The Duchess of Cambridge.

God our Father, we thank you for our families; for the love that we share and for the joy of our marriage.

Strengthened by our union help us to serve and comfort those who suffer. We ask this in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Amen.