Ask The Wedding Goddess
Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway will answer your questions and help relieve wedding stress. Please e-mail your questions and wedding challenges to The Wedding Goddess.
Dear Wedding Goddess:
My husband-to-be and I are fighting all the time and often feel ill at ease about the details of our wedding. We used to get along so perfectly – before planning a wedding- and now we are at each other’s throats. Its been such a wonderful relationship and we consider ourselves ‘conscious’ people. How did things change and how can I bring things back into balance? - Karolyn, New York City
Dear Karolyn –
I believe it can and will be wonderful again! You might even find it can be better if you can weather the wedding storms in a balanced way. Consider this behavior a bump in the road and an opportunity to grow.
It is important to remember that wedding planning tends to take you out of ordinary life and into an extraordinary situation. In that situation, small things get blown to larger proportions and difficult situations seem ever-more trying. Along with the joy, wedding planning brings up the "oy" -- discomfort, fear, worries, imbalance, and a tad of insanity. Even very sweet people can feel their cool melt down when wedding stress comes their way.
Your relationship will improve when you do things that bring you individually, and as a couple, back into balance.
Share sacred time. Clearly, you need to reconnect on a soul level to remember why you are getting married and how much you mean to each other. Take time out from wedding planning regularly to take a walk, share a romantic dinner, share a spiritually enriching event, pray, meditate or make love.
Speak what is on your minds, and in your hearts. Your wedding ceremony will give you a chance to speak vows. Wedding stress gives you a chance to speak what is on your mind. Communicate. Don’t pick at each other, talk with one another. One bride shared that she and her husband used to sit down on the linoleum on the kitchen floor to hash out their differences and the did not get up until they figured things out.
Take responsibility for your own anger. Separate your anger, disappointment and stress from anger, disappointment or stress you feel is created by your beloved. Rather than play the blame game, take responsibility for your own stuff! And if you feel the anger rising within you, don’t fling it at your loved one. Honestly, I think you are better off tossing a dish against a wall (privately and safely!) than energetically tossing it at him. Try to get the crazed anger out of your system so you can be civil with one another -- running, exercises, talking with a friend or counselor can also replace dish throwing!
Techno-prayers. An awesome way to rebalance your relationship and enhance all aspects of your lives as you prepare for marriage is the spiritual technology of energetic balancing. It is like a prayer offered ‘round the clock. Brides and grooms can find it helps them have more energy, more clarity, better boundaries, clearer communication, and allows you to be more in touch with your own consciousness (higher self). The Energetic Matrix Church of Consciousness (EMC2) has perfected a truly amazing system called the AIM Program. Essentially, you send a photo of yourself and one of your beloved, to be placed on a special tray and multiple frequencies of energies are transmitted via the photograph directly to the person in the image. Your photos can be placed side by side – it’s so romantic! These balancing energies are used by your "higher self” to neutralize any energetic imbalances. I love that they have a family plan – it’s more cost effective and you can put your parents on too. One bride, who was planning her 2007 wedding, told me that being on AIM with her fiancé has helped solve money quarrels, balance religious differences and helped her have an even closer relationship with her mom. For more information, visit: www.energeticmatrix.com
For inspiration, listen live to Stephen Lewis, co-founder of EMC2, on Talkshoe.com, Every Thursday at 9 am (Pacific), 10 am (Mountain), 11 am (Central) and 12 PM (Eastern).
© 2007, Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway
Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway, editor of Wedlok.com, is a leading interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiant. She creates unique ceremonies for couples of all backgrounds and faiths, and is also widely recognized as a relationship coach, bridal stress expert and columnist. She is author of YOUR PERFECT WEDDING VOWS: How to Write, Find and Select the Words that Express What is in Your Heart and WEDDING GODDESS: A Divine Guide to Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss. To help reduce wedding stress, get your personally autographed copy at www.WeddingGoddess.com.
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