In my case, I’d spent months cleaning out my basement of stuff before getting married and didn’t want a lot more stuff. My sister Rikki, though, is unable to let a family event go by un-celebrated. So she gathered as many of my nieces and great nieces as she could, as well as my mom and our other sister, who was visiting from out of town.

On a lazy weekday summer afternoon, under the pretense that we were going to an unveiling of my niece’s new kitchen, four generations of my womenfolk treated me to a day as a VIP Bride-to-Be. As it turned out, it was such a delight.

They did buy presents, but small and meaningful ones. They placed them in a pile together with one card from all and I enjoyed opening very personal and special gifts – such as wine glasses that said “Today I marry my best friend,” and a homemade wedding album.

Then one of my niece’s offered me a blessing adapted from my own book! This inspired me to give everyone there -- from my mother to my three year old niece -- a special, spontaneous blessing from the heart and to thank them for being in my life. It was then that I realized that in all the craziness that brides experience in wedding planning, there is a great sense of calm and soothing energy available when we gather with our women folk in a soulful and meaningful way.

You do not have to be a minister to do this. May I suggest that rather then trying to dissuade them from a shower … ask them to organize something intimate. Use it as a time to connect … to share stories … to reflect on the journey you are on. Or sit around and reminisce. Here are some other ideas from the brides who’ve opted for a wedding shower fit for a goddess:

• Gather friends and loved ones in a circle. Let each offer you a blessing and/or you offer each of them a blessing.

• Give it a special theme, with gifts that would be very meaningful – such as items to help Feng Shui your home or special books you would appreciate.

• Include your groom. Ask that it be a coed gathering so that you can share the experience.

I encourage you to rethink your resistance to a shower and to find a way to open your heart to receive the love your womenfolk want to offer you. This could be a lesson in asking for what you want, receiving love and also expressing gratitude.

© 2007, Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is a leading interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiant. She creates unique ceremonies for couples of all backgrounds and faiths, and is also widely recognized as a relationship coach, bridal stress expert and columnist. She is author of YOUR PERFECT WEDDING VOWS: How to Write, Find and Select the Words that Express What is in Your Heart and WEDDING GODDESS: A Divine Guide to Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss. To help reduce wedding stress, get your personally autographed copy at www.WeddingGoddess.com.