Ask The Wedding Goddess
Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway will answer your questions and help relieve wedding stress. Please e-mail your questions and wedding challenges to The Wedding Goddess.
Dear Wedding Goddess:
I sometimes feel I get into wedding busy-work to stop thinking about the huge step I am taking. But I want to really connect to what is this rite of passage really about. How can I do that? -- Emily
Dear Emily,
First of all, remember that you are going through a profound transition in life.
It is not just about planning a wedding. This is about you going from being a single woman with a boyfriend to becoming a married woman with a husband. This is about growing up, and growing into, the kind of commitment you once only dreamed about. It is about taking two complete and whole individuals with their greatness and their flaws and merging into a partnership that is beyond any union you have ever had in your life. It’s about stepping up to the plate to say “I do,” and being ready to step up to the plate in marriage.
The details of planning -- and the sometimes blinding stress that comes along with planning -- are often a diversion from the feelings related to this commitment.
Fear and occasional panic are not uncommon. Sometimes we bury these feelings by worrying about the color of the napkins and about the bridesmaid’s dresses. What is at the heart of the worry may be … “whoa… wow…we are really having a wedding here … I am marrying this guy. This is for real. Am I ready? Is he ready? Can we handle it? “
So a bride may focus on the details of the external experience rather than the internal. We all do that. Forgive yourself if you get lost there for a while and come back to the inner journey soon as you can.
The way to experience it as a sacred journey is to treat every step of it as meaningful. From the day you become engaged, to the moment you say “I do” make every moment count as a special occasion to be savored. The first time you try on dresses, the meeting with the caterer, the day you get your license … these are all the small steps you take to the Big Moment. Cherish them. They are just as important in getting you ready for marriage. You need all the things that happen in between the engagement and the wedding day to get your soul ready to be in a committed relationship.
This journey may be different for each of us. In the end, you will be married and the wedding will be behind you. So look for ways to experience even the busy moments with a sense of awareness and with reverence for the journey and all the feelings it brings.
Many Blessings,
Rev. Laurie Sue
© 2007, Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway
Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is a leading interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiant. She creates unique ceremonies for couples of all backgrounds and faiths, and is also widely recognized as a relationship coach, bridal stress expert and columnist. She is author of YOUR PERFECT WEDDING VOWS: How to Write, Find and Select the Words that Express What is in Your Heart and WEDDING GODDESS: A Divine Guide to Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss. To help reduce wedding stress, get your personally autographed copy at www.WeddingGoddess.com.
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