Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway will answer your questions and help relieve wedding stress. Please e-mail your questions and wedding challenges to The Wedding Goddess.

Dear Wedding Goddess:

We are about to meet with our wedding officiant and we have not done much research about how to proceed with the wedding ceremony. We are kind of unsure. Before we meet with this person, shouldn't we get clear in our own minds? Not sure what the process entails. - Lenni

Hi Lenni -

I imagine your officiant will lead you through a series of questions but it is good to give it some thought before hand.

These are some of the questions I ask couples when consult with them about creating a personalized wedding.

Where does religion fit in – or does it? Would you like to include an aspect of the faiths you were born into without the dogma? Do you want to include mention of God – or would you prefer blessing upon your union without mention of Divine presence?

What kind of ceremony would be most suited to the two of you? Would you like something personal yet that includes aspects of your traditions? Or would something romantic and offbeat be more your style? On the spectrum between a formal and traditional ceremony and the wackiest exchange of vows you can think of, where are you? Somewhere in the middle, or somewhere on the edge, wanting to be different?

What are your special needs? Think about the requirements you each may have. Is one of you more religious than the other? Is one of you atheist or agnostic? Are you an interfaith pair? Do you hail from different cultures? How much do you want to honor your heritage and the traditions of your parents and family, etc? Is there anything you abhor about those traditions and would never want in your own ceremony?

What do you two truly want? Most importantly, be completely honest with one another (and then, your officiant). Make sure you are creating this ceremony for the two of you – not just to please others.

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