Ask the Wedding Goddess--Maid of Honor Dilemma
Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway will answer your questions and help relieve wedding stress. Please e-mail your questions and wedding challenges to The Wedding Goddess.
Do I have to Have a Maid of Honor?
Dear Wedding Goddess:
I know you don't know me but I hope you can help me find some peace of this situation. I've been married twice before. I have never asked a particular friend of mine to be in my weddings. She has come and it's good. I recently asked her to be in my upcoming wedding, and she said no. She said she is always a bridesmaid and will not be in anyone else's wedding but her own. I have a sister but we are not close. I had her also in my younger wedding when I was 21 years of age. I'm now 55 and really don't mind not having anyone stand there. Does someone standing there make it official or can I do without? And, if my fiance wants to have his brother, I then must be obligated to find a women also? or do I? - Pauline
Dear Pauline -
You are not obligated legally to have a maid of honor. If your beloved wants his brother to stand for him, great. He can hold the rings! It is fine if there is just one person standing at the altar with you.
Just want to clarify that you are legally obligated, in NY and most states, to have at least one adult witness your wedding and sign your license as a witness, under the supervision of your officiant. This can be your groom's brother if you like. In NY, there is room for another person to also witness. If you want to, you can ask your friend or sister to sign. As long as they acutally attend the wedding.
As far as the processional and wedding party go, no need to stand on any ceremonial aspects that no longer fit for you. Have a great wedding!
Blessings, Rev. Laurie Sue
© 2010, Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway
Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is a leading interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiant. She creates unique ceremonies for couples of all backgrounds and faiths, and is also widely recognized as a relationship coach, bridal stress expert and columnist. She is author of YOUR PERFECT WEDDING VOWS: How to Write, Find and Select the Words that Express What is in Your Heart and WEDDING GODDESS: A Divine Guide to Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss. To help reduce wedding stress, get your personally autographed copy at www.WeddingGoddess.com.