Liz Hurley's Interfaith Marriage Contested by Traditionalists
By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Just a few words on the Liz Hurley and Arun Nayar nuptials in England and India.
I have one thing to say to all those who have been criticizing the way these two people in love have chosen to marry -- get over it!
They are an interfaith pair, who, like many interfaith couples have chosen to celebrate their love and their cultures by getting married in a way that honors both families and both traditions.
It is estimated that 25 percent of all marriages today are interfaith and there are more mixed couples when you count in intercultural and interracial pairs. The fact that people are complaining about the choices Liz and her new husband have made demonstrates prejudice and interference with a loving couple's personal choices. And it is not even the usual culprits -- mother of the bride or mother of the groom -- giving them such a hard time!
We hear a criminal complaint has been filed against the model and her businessman hubby, citing some archaic law against interfaith marriage. A Hindu traditionalist (ultra-conservatve) has cited "295a of the Indian Penal Code" which says it is against the law to marry in a Hindu ceremony if your are not a Hindu and if you put forth a "deliberate and malicious acts intended to outrage religious feelings." See Liz Hurley Branded a Criminal by Hindu Traditionalists.
This is nutty! It states Liz Hurley and Arun Nayar nuptials are technically illegal, which is even more ridiculous, especially since they were legally married in England before embarking on the second round of wedding rituals in India.
Some details: Model/actress Hurley, is British and born into the religious tradition of the Church of England. Businessman Nayar, a Hindu, was born in India to an Indian dad and non-Indian Mom.
Their first wedding experience was, as far as I can tell from initial reports, at the registrar's office to deal with the marital paperwork, which in England is still handwritten. This would be the attainment of their official marriage license. This is the protocol.
The Associated Press reported that the couple has a "Private civil ceremony at a 15th-century castle" and "were married at Sudeley Castle in Winchcombe, 125 miles west of London. The pair held a blessing and party at the castle Saturday evening."
Other reports contend they had a formal Church of England ceremony, which is very different from a civil ceremony.
The religious ceremony would have represented the tradition the Hurley family observes. The civil ceremony is the legal part -- and that would not happen at a Castle. This could only be at the registrars office. I would tend to believe the religious/spiritual ceremony -- or "blessing" -- was at the castle.
Following the ceremonies in England they headed to India. Sounded to me as if they followed the protocol of a Hindu ceremony typical for people of means -- groom arrived on a horse, there were fire eaters and lots of festivities. It was loud, crazy, colorful. This is how it is done. Hindu people -- even those with little money -- tend to whoop it up at weddings. The groom and bride wore traditional wedding apparel.
Andhracafe.com is reporting that the criminal complaint was filed against the couple because of the ceremony. The website states that because Hurley is of a different faith, and already was married in a religious ceremony according to that faith, that she and her new hubby made a mockery of the Hindu customs, and have hurt the religious sentiments of the community by marrying in Hindu style.
This is so unbelievably shocking and sad, as the Hindu tradtion does not require the bride to be of the same faith to partake in a Hindu ceremony and many Hindu priests will marry interfaith couples as well as couples from differest castes. There are still so many small-minded people who cannot accept this.
I am sure that Hurley and hubby created an over the top wedding celebrations, using enough money to feed half of India. The lavishness of the nuptials of the rich and famous is upsetting to some, especially in a country so poor. Perhaps it is this aspect of the wedding that stirred such controversy.
But that is not reason enough to attack the choices of an interfaith pair. It is completely commonplace for interfaith couples to honor their love and one another's cultures and religious with dual ceremonies. It is also extremely common these days for couples to have more than one wedding ceremony. Often times they will have a civil and religious ceremony, or a ceremony in one country and then another.
Furthermore, the Hindu culture values the "spiritual ceremony" as the true ceremony. It is the taking of the 7 Steps around the sacred fire that seals them as husband and wife forever. There are many, many Hindu people who have the spiritual ceremony without the legal aspect, because the samskara of marriage is the most important part. In the United States, Hindu couples reguarly have their spiritual ceremony and then go to the clerk's office to make it legal at another time.
It takes a lot of courage for couples of different faiths and cultures to follow their hearts and blend their lives, families and traditions.
I think any couple just starting out deserves the opportunity to marry the way they choose, and have their choices honored and celebrated. If they are brave enough to follow this path, why try to persecute them for their very personal decision?
© 2007, Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway
Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is a leading interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiant. She creates unique ceremonies for couples of all backgrounds and faiths, and is also widely recognized as a relationship coach, bridal stress expert and columnist. She is author of WEDDING GODDESS: A Divine Guide To Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss (Perigee Books, May 2005) and the new online course, Discover the Goddess. Visit Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway at www.WeddingGoddessWisdom.com.
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