Now That You Are Engaged ... Tips for New Brides-to-Be

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Did you ring in the New Year with a ring? To all you newly engaged brides, congratulations! Now the fun begins.

Perhaps you will consider Las Vegas right off the bat. This is truly a town that caters to taking care of all your wedding needs. About 140,000 or so couples get hitched here each year.

However, If you have your heart set on a hometown family affair, or a destination wedding, set off on the path of the wedding of your dreams, and stay clear of the nuptials of your nightmares.

I am firm believer that a bride has to include stress management, self-nurturing and time to chill out as an integral part of her wedding planning process. It is a journey that is bound to have some bumps in the road, but no need to take the “Stress Express” to the altar, as so many brides do these days. Taking care of you, and your relationship, is the best way to reduce stress and keep yourself together.

Here are some tips to get you through the tough spots:

Establish boundaries from the start: Some brides get sucked into the vortex of wedding planning stress, and overwhelmed by the pressure and expectations of those around her. You will not be able to please everyone or manage everyone’s emotions. Focus on managing your own … and being true to yourself. It’s your wedding, not your mom’s, sister’s, or your maid of honor’s.

Stay close to your groom: You will cut your stress in half if you two remain a united team. You won’t see eye to eye on all things … but you must stand together and back each other up when it comes to making decisions. When well-meaning-but-meddling relatives try to sway you, stay strong and hold on tight to one another!

Savor the small stuff: From the day you become engaged, to the moment you say “I do” make every moment count. Savor even the little things you do to make your wedding special. Keep the focus that the Big Day is a sacred day. It is not just a party that needs planning … it is a marriage that you are preparing for. All these little things along the way are helping your prepare.

Do Something Un-wedding: When you feel the stress building, take time out, go for a walk, slip into a movie, get a massage, take a soothing hot bath, go for a manicure, write in a journal, meditate, listen to music. You have to love, honor and cherish yourself!

Manage your time on your wedding day. Nothing is more flustering to a bride than running late on your wedding day. Create a time line that includes everything from your morning coffee, to leaving for the ceremony, and stick as close to it as possible. Take control of time on your wedding day so that it does not add stress to the natural butterflies in the tummy.

Stay present: Don’t risk missing it all, or remembering it as a blur, because you were too busy agonizing over the details and the drama. Trust that your wedding will unfold as it meant to be and will be perfect for you. If you can stay present – rather than worrying or dazing out -- you can look one another in the eyes at the wedding altar and remember the power of that moment!

Remember, if you need to take the edge off your stress, you can always decide to elope to Las Vegas... or move the whole wedding here for a wedding-vacation-honeymoon to remember!

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is a leading interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiant. She creates unique ceremonies for couples of all backgrounds and faiths, and is also widely recognized as a bridal stress expert and columnist. She is author of WEDDING GODDESS: A Divine Guide To Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss (Perigee Books, May 2005). Visit Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway at www.WeddingGoddessWisdom.com.

Posted January 17, 2007 8:06 PM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Email This