Survive Thanksgiving with Grace and Joy!

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Wedding Goddess Wisdom

Around this time, a lot of average people are wondering how the heck they will survive this Thanksgiving Holidays.

It all starts off okay. The turkey is cooking. The yummy smell reminds you of childhood. You want so much to conjure good feelings and the sense of joy of younger days. There is something about coming hungry to Thanksgiving dinner ... it helps you maintain a sense of innocence, possibility and calm; and it allows you to also feel hunger for family closeness and joy.

Then you eat ... and eat ... and eat ... and perhaps drink ... and you find yourself weighed down and exhausted.

Then reality sets in: Some us seem to share a gene pool with people we have nothing in common with, or who agitate us to no end. Just like planning a wedding, holidays tend to exacerbate family drama. If you are sharing thanksgiving and in the midst of planning a wedding, you might be getting a double dose of it.

I am not saying that everyone's family is dysfunctional. Some people really enjoy holidays. But many people seem to want to know how to quell anxiety and anger when it comes to family gatherings.

The solution: Ditch your family and run off to Las Vegas to frolic!

Or intend to bring a little light and grace to your family. In fact, you can turn a meal into a sacred event if you emphasize the positive. Here are some ideas to put to use before the Tryptophan and carbohydrates begin lulling you to La-La Land:

1. Hug a loved one: It may seem corny, but its not! Hug the people you love and tell each them something you love about them – his or her outfit, hair do, cooking or general good nature and generosity. Hugging is more than bodily contact; it is an energetic contact that brings the energy of love and warmth into any situation.

2. Be a compassionate listener. During the schmoozing part of the family gathering, before the food is served, steer away from meaningless chit-chat. Instead, listen to what people have to say. Share your stories, but listen to other people without judging. This is especially important with anyone who is set in their way. Try not to get reactivated by people who push your buttons or are annoying. Just smile.

3. Play music. Music opens the heart and uplifts the spirit. Make sure you bring some terrific, inspiring CDs to the family gathering and or select family favorites that everyone can relate to and maybe even sing along to. Any music and song that warms the heart will get people in a good mood and settle their energy.

4. Say Grace. Even if your family has never said a dinner prayer in their lives, suggest one this year; or add this prayer to the customary grace that is said at dinner. Adapt this prayer to your families' religious beliefs:

We are so grateful for the opportunity to gather with family (and friends).

This year we are especially thankful for (add in any other milestones).

Let us always be nurturing and loving with one another.

May good experiences be bountiful and challenges be few.

May we all be blessed with health and happiness today, and always.

We are thankful for the delicious dinner that has been prepared with love.

May all consumed here tonight fill us with well-being and love.

As we begin this dinner, may we be grateful for what we have.

And may we take a moment to send our good thoughts
and blessings for peace out to the world.

Let us all be uplifted and embraced by love.

Dig in and enjoy!

5. Include Gratitude. During, or at the end of, the meal, invite everyone to take a moment to think of something that they are thankful for. Go around the table and let everyone speak (if they want). It may seem a little awkward at first (especially for the family jokesters) but people love it! It gets them thinking and it gives them a platform for speaking and sharing.

From all of us at Wedlok.com, have a blessed Thanksgiving!

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is one of New York's leading interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiants. She creates unique ceremonies for couples of all backgrounds and faiths, and is also widely recognized as a bridal stress expert and columnist. She is author of WEDDING GODDESS: A Divine Guide To Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss (Perigee Books, May 2005). Visit Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway at www.WeddingGoddessWisdom.com.

Posted November 22, 2006 4:20 PM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Email This

Comments

1. Hugged my husband.
2. My mom's in town and after some turkey we both had a 1.5 hour walk-a-thon filled with an intimate one-on-one chat (listening and exchanging stories) while burning some calories
3. Especially downloaded Adam Sandler's "Thanksgiving Song" from itunes to give everyone a laugh.
4. and 5. Thank you to our local Ralph's grocer who offers Thanksgiving-in-a box. We're not much of cooks and it was tasty! Turkey to feed 8, gravy, stuffing, rolls, mash potatoes, and cranberry. We're almost living like The Jetsons.

Posted by: The Practical Bride | November 25, 2006 12:42 AM