Renew Your Wedding Vows Every Day
Keep your marriage vows alive and keep your relationship fresh by finding ways to renew your commitment to each other every day.
By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
I tied the knot, for the second time around, at 48. I can still remember the bridal glow I had before, and for months following, our wedding. I was so excited about love!
I am still excited about love, but the bridal hormones eventually blended into adjusting to married life and real life with my new husband. Even though he had been my longtime boyfriend, marriage does change things. I realized we needed a strategy for calling forth those happy feelings again.
There are those moments in every relationship when two people are so far removed from their wedding day that they kind of forget what brought them together in the first place. Whether you are an old pro at married life – or just got hitched again for the second time around -- over time, your marriage needs a tune up here and there (I don’t have to tell you that!).
It is a good idea to check in every once and a while and make sure you are both still aligned with your wedding vows. In addition, your vows themselves may need some enhancement. As time goes on, you will both change and grow and your married life will evolve.
Your marriage will hopefully be a long and fruitful journey. To keep it fresh and keep it vibrant, look for ways to continually renew your commitment and to acknowledge the sacred promises you made.
1. Sweetly Keeping Your Promises Alive. We are all pretty high on love and life after the wedding – that’s why they call it the honeymoon period! Anniversaries can also stimulate a lot of those love hormones – even if you don’t think you have any hormones left! They are a good time to reignite the kind of love. Remembering the promises made at the altar can help you both maintain the happy feelings of your very special day. I learned this from one of my deans in seminary school, Rev. Diane Berke, who married for the second time and repeated her wedding vows with her new husband on her honeymoon. They enjoyed it so much they kept going for two years! Why not try it for two weeks or a month. Find your wedding vows or write new ones. Starting on your anniversary or some special occasion, each night before you go to bed, take some time to look deeply into each others eyes and repeat them to one another.
Read more about how to keep your wedding vows fresh and alive.strong>
2. Surround yourself with reminders of your wedding day. Have you packed up the wedding photos? Bring them out again. And get some beautiful paper, print your vows out and frame them. Keep them in your boudoir, next to your favorite wedding photo, and any other mementos from your wedding that fill your senses with happy memories.
3. Expand your vows. The vows you speak at your wedding may be on the short side, or tend to be romantic. There may have been some things you felt were too personal, or too practical to add in. And once you have a little experience with marriage under your belt (or a lot!), you may find there are additional sentiments you would like to add to your vows. These are very personal statements the two of you can come up with together. You can add them to your existing vows and repeat them to each other, and frame them, or just keep them in a sacred place – such a holy book or even in a frame behind your wedding photo, symbolically making them the foundation beneath your marriage. Over time, you can add in anything that you desire as you learn more about what you both hold dear in married life.
4. Regularly recommit to your marriage. Remember, you can celebrate and recommit to your marriage at any time. Your legal marriage is a one time deal, yet there is no law that says you cannot renew your commitment at any stage. Consider a recommitment ceremony every few years. Every time you experience a ritual that declares your love, it’s like giving your love, your life and your marriage a new infusion of energy or, even, a fresh start.
Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway, lead blogger on www.Wedlok.com, is an interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiant. She creates unique ceremonies for couples of all backgrounds and faiths, and is also widely recognized as a relationship/soulmate coach and wedding stress expert. She is author of YOUR PERFECT WEDDING VOWS: How to Write, Find and Select the Words that Express What is in Your Heart and WEDDING GODDESS: A Divine Guide to Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss. To help reduce wedding stress, get your personally autographed copy at www.WeddingGoddess.com.
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