Cupid and His Soul Mate, Psyche

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Valentine’s Day is upon us. Let's talk about Cupid – and his soul mate Psyche.

The image of Cupid is embedded in our collective consciousness as the representative of romantic love. He is especially an icon on the holiday of hearts. However, depicted as a cherub with an arched quiver, it is difficult to look toward a baby with a bow and arrow to take care of all your love needs.

That’s where Psyche comes in. She is the loving woman behind the male, and she helps rule the game of love that is Cupid’s domain.

When you see Psyche and Cupid together, you come to know the Love God in his fullness (less of a baby, and more of a hero and lover). It could be that with her inspiration, his arrows can reach great distances, and travel far and wide to help people find love.

I like the myth of Psyche and Cupid. At first glance, it seems she is a victim of hideous circumstance: Her mother-in-law is out to get her; her lover abandons her; she is tricked and deceived; and she is put through hell for love. Every feminist bone in your body wants to scream out: Wake up girl. Why sacrifice so much of yourself for this guy?

On the other hand, these two lovers represent classic elements of favorite ancient stories about soul mates. They are the masculine and feminine merged. They are dark and hidden, and out in the world. And their love speaks of the bringing together heaven and earth. Their story represents a love that is meant to be; a test of faith and a willingness to do what it takes to keep their love alive brings them the reward of eternal love.

On a practical level, the story speaks of how even those who love one another sometimes betray one another. It is lovely to see there is a way to heal or redeem ourselves in the name of love.

We have all seen the images of Cupid and Psyche together. He is often seen swooping her up in his arms and flying her into the heavens. She is often pictured as a young woman lost in love’s embrace. (Or she looks weary and vulnerable because she has been through hell).

Valentine week seems like a good week to reflect on this mythological love match.

The Story of Cupid and Psyche

Psyche (psych•ee), whose name means “soul,” was the mortal bride of Cupid, the Roman God of love. She was granted divinity after attempting Goddess-like feats of devotion to reclaim her beloved after a nasty misunderstanding.

She was a beautiful maiden who, without trying, got a lot of male attention. Angered that attention was being taken away from her, Goddess Venus, in a demonstration of the darker side of her nature, sent her son Cupid, the love archer, to inflame Psyche with passion for an ugly, horrible man.

When Cupid arrived he was “accidentally” hit by his own arrow. Inflamed by her beauty, he took her as his bride. They were deeply in love, but Psyche only saw her mate in the darkness, when he would come to her bed and ravish her. Cupid made her promise never to look or question whom he was (he knew if she set her mortal eyes upon him their relationship would have to end).

She was content to have his love in the darkness but her sisters, hearing that she’d never seen her husband’s true face, meddled. Suggesting he could be an ugly monster for all she knew, they talked her into peeking. One night, Psyche held a candle near his sleeping figure, and found a beautiful boy beneath her gaze – but she was a little shocked to see his wings. When a bit of wax fell from her candle, it caused him to wake.

Mortified by her betrayal, he fled, also making their castle and gardens vanish. Psyche found herself alone in an open field, with no signs of other beings or her beloved. She tearfully wandered in search of him until she came upon a temple of Venus. The Goddess gave her daughter-in-law a series of impossible tasks – each harder and more dangerous than the next – and informed her they were the only way to get Cupid back.

Psyche took on each one with courage, hoping to soon see her lover, but in the end it was he who rescued her.

Psyche literally went to hell and back to be reunited with her beloved Cupid. The final task was to take a little box to the underworld and collect some of the beauty of Persephone, wife of Hades, in the box. She was warned not to open the box once she had filled it. Temptation got the best of her, and she opened it, only to be besieged by deadly slumber. She was out cold when Cupid came upon her. He gathered from her the essence of deadly sleep and put it back safely in the box. He forgave her indiscretions, touched by her willingness to go into the darkness to save their relationship. She forgave him for leaving her and came alive again in his loving embrace. Even her mother-in-law, Venus, got over her jealousies.

The gods were so moved by her devotion, they made her an immortal. Cupid and Psyche went to live with the other Gods and had a daughter, Voluptas (Pleasure).

Another moral to this story is the idea that love will find you. Even if it has not found you yet, even if you feel you are in the darkness, it may be on the way. Don’t give up.

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is author of The Goddess Pages: A Divine Guide to Finding Love and Happiness (Llewellyn, Nov. 2008) and the e-course, Find Your Spiritual Soul Mate. She is moderator of The Soulmate Project on Beliefnet.

Posted February 13, 2009 6:56 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Email This