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Sleeping Separately May Improve Chances for Sex

While conventional wisdom tells couples to stay in the same bed no matter what, one expert thinks sleeping Lucy and Desi style will pep up your love life.

Guest Blog by Tracey Marks, M.D.

Lucy and Desi Bed.jpg

We know that for optimal sleep, you should reserve your bed only for sleep and sex. However sleepy people don’t have sex.

According to a National Sleep Foundation study, one in four couples are too tired for sex. What if the reason you don’t sleep well is because of your partner?

Some people need the comfort of their loved one lying next to them to sleep well. But there are many people whose sleep is disrupted by loud snoring or a partner who thrashes about. And no doubt spooning is romantic and cozy, but let’s face it - it’s hot. Hot bodies don’t sleep well.

If you don’t sleep well with your partner, you would be better served to sleep wherever you can, even if it’s means sleeping apart. This doesn’t have to mean that you will become distant with one another. After all, how intimate can you be when you’re asleep?

What’s the solution? Save the bed for intimacy while you are awake and when it is time to go to bed, go to your respective spaces. Reruns of I Love Lucy showing the couple sleeping in twin beds seems laughable today, but it may just make a good compromise for those want to be in close proximity but require their own physical space to sleep soundly.

Superficially, separate beds or bedrooms raise a red flag for marital problems, when in fact it may be just what you need to foster more intimacy during your waking hours.

Tracey Marks, MD, author of Master Your Sleep, is an Atlanta psychiatrist and psychotherapist specializing in how stress and anxiety impact quality of life. The book provides a thorough exploration of potential treatments, from herbal and prescription medications to a variety of therapies, explaining the potential risks and benefits related to all treatment methodologies. Visit her blog.

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