By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

It's supposed to be such a "happy time" yet brides tend to get clobbered by stress on the way to the altar. Here are some of the stressors and some solutions from Wedding Goddess.

1. Bridezillas are made, not born. It’s easy to get sucked into the vortex of wedding planning stress, and overwhelmed by the stress, pressure and expectations of those around you. You have to include stress management, self-nurturing and time to chill out as an integral part of her wedding planning process.

2. Know what YOU want before everyone you know starts telling you what you're wedding should be. Before you run off to tell the folks and friends you are engaged, take some time for you and your beloved to get used to the idea. And to discuss the kind of wedding you want. When you start sharing the news, without having a clue about the experience you want to create, you are more vulnerable to pressure and influence from others.

3. Stay on the same page with the man you will marry. Make an agreement that you will make all decisions together, and back each other up. The moment there is a weakness in your partnership, you will both be swayed more easily by other people's opinions.

4. Everyone has something to say about your wedding. It’s a given. Just accept it. Whether they are paying for it or not ... no matter whom you are or what age. You’ll be showered with congratulations and gifts… and bombarded with unsolicited advice.

5. Everyone has an agenda for your wedding. It is a rare family that does not have a reason to be part of your big day for reasons other than the mere fact that you are getting married. People tend to see your wedding as a chance to fulfill their own needs. They tend to act out what it’s all about for them – not you! You have to set clear boundaries, and also protect yourself emotionally from the sometimes-negative vibes from well-meaning friends and relatives.

6. You can include loved ones without letting them run the show. There are so many creative ways to honor them in the ceremony and at the reception. Get over your desire to make everyone happy and focus instead on honoring family ties in a way that is meaningful to your marriage.

7. Getting married can stir up a lot of emotions. The process itself sets forth period of growth and change that can be very nerve -wracking. Once you decide to marry you will begin the process of getting ready for marriage … and unresolved emotions may come to the surface to be explored. Be prepared to do some inner work along with all the external preparations. Honor and address the emotions and fears that arise. Trust they are natural. Don't sweep things under the rug.

8. Your happiness in life (and marriage) DOES NOT hinge on your wedding alone. Our culture places a tremendous emphasis on having a great wedding and not enough focus on having an awesome marriage. It's okay to be temporarily obsessed and to yearn for the perfect wedding -- we all go there at some point -- but you have to keep your eye on what's truly important. Too many brides treat the wedding itself as something to be worshipped and served. Don’t give the wedding day so much power! Step back and realize, the most important part of the day is not the day itself ... but that you walked down that aisle and into the arms of the One you love … the One you look forward to building your life with.

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is a leading interfaith and non-denominational wedding officiant. She creates unique ceremonies for couples of all backgrounds and faiths, and is also widely recognized as a relationship coach, bridal stress expert and columnist. She is author of YOUR INTERFAITH WEDDING: A Guide to Blending Faiths, Cultures and Personal Values into One Beautiful Ceremony,YOUR PERFECT WEDDING VOWS: How to Write, Find and Select the Words that Express What is in Your Heart and WEDDING GODDESS: A Divine Guide to Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss. To help reduce wedding stress, get your personally autographed copy at www.WeddingGoddess.com.

Posted August 7, 2010 8:43 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

Have you seen "Boyfriends With Benefits"?

This new video about health insurance as a chick magnet seems to be part of a new trend in times of financial crisis - practicality when it comes to love.

My friend Carrie Sloan wrote a terrific story about preparing for her wedding in two days, based on a very practical decision to marry sooner than later.

She had just been laid off from her job as an editor and was given three days of health insurance coverage. She and her beloved, Adam Lisberg, were already engaged and decided to move thier fall marriage to that Friday so that Carrie could hop onto his health insurance plan at the NY Daily News, where he is a City Hall Reporter.

Carrie e-mailed me to see if I could possibly officiate her wedding - two days before it was to take place. It just so happend I had a 4 pm Ceremony in Central Park so I told her I could marry her at 5:30 PM and that it would be my honor. I was truly touched to be part of it.

I have to say, it was a beautiful ceremony. It took place at The Pool, in Central Park, at 100th Street and Central Park West. Carrie and Adam are two beautiful lights, and together, they shine brighter. It was clear by the way they looked at each other and their comfort with one another that they were very much in love. They radiated love!

They said their "I dos" and exchanged candy rings (no time to get real ones) before parents (who flew in from long distances to attend the wedding) and friends who surrounded them in a circle of love. Even the ducks were stopping by to watch. A great sense of joy and playfulness prevailed.

They will do it again in the fall, in a ceremony officiated by the groom's step dad. This time, the wedding rings will be made of gold. Mazel Tov Carrie and Adam!

Photo of Rev. Laurie Sue with newlyweds Carrie and Adam and their pooch by Desiree Navarro.

Read Carrie's account of her rushed, yet wonderful, nuptials. She prooves it is indeed possible to marry well without spending a year planning!

Posted May 30, 2009 11:25 PM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

Do you have a winter wedding to attend?

Barbara Quinn's article in the Grand Fork Herald offers some interesting insight into how our nutritional health goes out the window in the days leading up to, during and after a wedding.

Like the holidays, at weddings, people tend to eat a lot and drink a lot, and there goes the diet.

You can end up with a sugar hang over from wedding cake or a Viennese table just as easily as a hang over from too much alcohol. And as Quinn points out, you might end up eating wedding leftovers for days -- since we all fell obligated to take home the leftovers that have cost us so dearly.

She writes: "Just because a wedding is over doesn't mean the wedding is over. There are rental items to return and explanations to be made over a groomsman's shirt that no longer has sleeves. And there were leftovers of food we were obliged to bring home."

"I finally plopped on the couch one afternoon when my friend called to see how I was faring. “What are you doing?“ she asked. Eating a piece of wedding cake ... for lunch, I said sadly. "

Okay, so no one is forcing you to eat left over cake for lunch, but you get the picture.

Our trick for weddings is to eat before we go, lay off alcohol and eat enough to feel too full for cake.

Posted December 23, 2007 9:08 AM by Editor | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
More on this topic at Hinduism.About.com

I love wedding rituals of all kinds, and have a particular fondness for and experience with the Hindu wedding ceremony. I am often called upon to marry interfaith couples, where one partner is Hindu and the other is another faith, and asked to blend in some of the rituals typically officiated by a Hindu priest or "Pandit" (spiritual facilitator of sacred events who can speak the chants and rituals).

Of course, I offer these blessings in English, and will often involve the families to contribute to certain sacred aspects of the ceremony, to make the ceremonial elements as authentic and true to the faith as possible.

It is a double blessing when my couples also opt for a traditional Hindu ceremony, which was the case with Traci and Partha. This awesome couple asked me to officiate their official interfaith ceremony at Tribeca Rooftop in Manhattan, blending their Christian and Hindu traditions. And they invited me to attend the family gathering the next day, where the groom's family arranged a traditional Hindu ceremony.

I got there just as the groom's mom was preparing the altar on an Indian table cloth placed on the floor. That is also where most of the guests would sit, on the floor, another Hindu tradition.

It was a beautiful blend of Indian and Midwestern cultures. All the women were in Saris, including the brides side of the family. The men on the groom's side wore Kurtas, traditional Indian wear, while the bride's side came in shorts on the hot summer day.

It was really a sweet combination. And maybe a tad of a culture shock for the Iowa contingent. The women in saris on the grooms side chatted away -- because in their culture, the wedding is a social occasion, not something to be solemn about or to jsut sit and observe quietly (although the Priest and I both told them to bring it down a notch a few times). The brides side, especially the guys, were used to weddings as a more solemn occasion at church so they sort of sat quietly and observed.

The event was colorful and festive and it took place in an amazing New York City high rise apartment with all-glass walls, looking out on New York City, as the ancient rites proceeded. Luckily, the pandit who was leading things was wonderful and he explained each step as he went along.

He also allowed me to offer the couple a blessing, touching blessed rice and flower petals to their forehead with a Sanskrit prayer he led us through-- a privilege usually reserved only for relatives (and only relatives older than the couple, by the way).

The Hindu wedding ceremony has many components and it is quite beautiful, specific and filled with chanting, Sanskrit blessings and ritual that is thousands of years old. An important aspect of the Hindu ceremony is to light a sacred fire, created from ghee and woolen wicks, to evoke the God, Agni (Fire), to bear witness to the ceremony.

The highlight is Saptapadi, also called "The Seven Steps." Here, traditionally the bride’s sari is tied to the groom’s Kurta, or a sari shawl might be draped from his shoulder to her sari. The couple also pours puffed rice upon the sacred fire, groom holding on to brides hands, to represent prosperity (which is what Partha and Traci are doing in this photo, as part of the Seven Steps rite).

Read my story on this topic at Hinduism.About.com, which Hinduism Guide, Subhamoy Das, shared with his readers today.

Continue reading "Seven Steps Around the Sacred Fire - Hallmark of the Hindu Ceremony" »

Posted November 27, 2007 5:20 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

Every time I see a couple dance that first dance, I feel a sense of pride, having had a least a little bit to do with the fact that they are celebrating their marriage!

Cutest first dance I ever saw was at the wedding of Jane and Adam, at Grand Prospect Hall in Brooklyn.

They did not have a clue how to dance. But she was as producer and he was a musician and they came up with a clever idea. As they danced, the DJ played a prepared voice over tape that was meant to sound as if we were in their heads, listening to their thought. The dialog went something like this:

“Oh no, everyone’s looking at us and they will think we are dorks.”

“I told you we should have taken dance lessons.”

“Do you think they know we haven’t danced since senior prom?”

And so on. It got lots of laughs as they sort of shuffled around the dance floor.

Of course, many couples today prefer to take those dance lessons and create an amazing first dance. I had one couple practice a tango for months! Came across a wedding video collection on AOL today of couples who obviously put a lot of thought into their first dance moves!

Posted September 12, 2007 11:38 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

Thousands and thousands of couples now share the wedding date 7-7-07. Eva Longoria and Tony Parker tied the Knot in Paris.

Las Vegas is still brimming with brides and grooms. An estimated 40,000 couples said "I Do" around the country. What a wedding day!

We offer all the happy couples these 7 Blessings for their 7-7-07 unions.

1) We bless these couples in the name of Friendship.
May these marriages prosper in the passing years with the strengthening bonds of two who know, trust and savor each other.

Continue reading "Seven Blessings for Eva Longoria and Tony Parker - and All the Couples Who Tied the Knot on 7-7-07" »

Posted July 7, 2007 7:25 PM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

Getting married in New York City? Congratulations!

Any couple getting married in NYC must have a valid marriage licence issued within the State of New York. You can attain the license anywhere in the state, and it is only valid in New York State.

A New York State Marriage License remains valid for up to 60 days, and you must have it in hand for no less than 24 hours before your ceremony can be performed.

Try not to stress yourself by leaving it until the last minute if you can avoid it ... but if you are coming from out of town to get married and will have limited time before your ceremony, please make sure the Clerk's Office is open on the days before your wedding. (They close on weekends and for some holidays).

Here is some information on how to get your marriage license from the New York City Clerk's Office, which has five offices in the boroughs of NYC.

Continue reading "How to Get Your Marriage License in New York City" »

Posted July 6, 2007 6:53 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

If you are coming to town to marry on 7-7-07, here's some practical advice for your romantic occasion: Remember to leave extra time to get your marriage license!

Although Vegas is known for the ease of the wedding license process, the lines will be longer!

Don't wait until the last minute. You will need to think ahead a tad more than usual. If your wedding is, say, 7:07 am on Saturday, July 7, 2007, you will need to get your license the day before.

We just spoke to the Marriage Bureau and they said they will maintain regular hours (the hours that became effective on 8-30-06) and they will not be open 24 hours this weekend.

They said they have "no idea" how many couples will converge on their offices this week, but they have staffed up to help keep the flow going.

There is no blood test required. The cost is $55. For all the information you need, including acceptable ID and rules and regulations visit the website for the Clark County Marriage Bureau.

Continue reading "Where to Get Your Las Vegas Wedding License on 7-7-07" »

Posted July 5, 2007 2:15 PM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

I am probably the only wedding officiant on the planet who does not have a wedding booked on 7-7-07. Interestingly, I have barely gotten inquiries about that date.

I'm not worried though, I think God left my calendar free so I can trade my clergy robe for reporters pen and pad, and cover the exciting and possibly crazed wedding activities of the day. Whether it is the biggest wedding day of the century, or the biggest wedding hype of modern times, 7-7-07 remains a hot wedding story!

As a far as I can tell there are no formal national statistics on the actual numbers of people getting hitched but obviously, Las Vegas will see a healthy percentage of them, as one of the selling points of 7-7-07 is that it represents the winning numbers of a lucky jackpot.

Stories are spreading like wildfire and even those with a local angle often has a Las Vegas mention. See today's piece in the LA Times.

Estimates have been pouring out from TheKnot.com, the nation's leading wedding planning website. I've seen their estimate at 31,000 and, more recently, seems to be up to 38,000 "knotties" (the bride, and her groom) who plan to say "I do" on that day nationwide.

Continue reading "The Knot Says 38,000 Couples Will Wed on 7-7-07" »

Posted June 23, 2007 7:22 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Everyone is talking about 7-7-07. Let's not forget 6-21-07.

It is Summer Solstice, traditionally a heavenly time to pledge your love.

And its a lucky day indeed. It is the longest day of the year, a time when the sun is at the height of it’s power, and good vibrations abound.

The folks at Chiff.com put it this way:

"Awed by the great power of the sun, world civilizations for many centuries have celebrated the Summer Solstice - otherwise known as Midsummer. The Celts and Slavs celebrated with dancing and bonfires to help increase the sun's energy, the Chinese marked the day by honoring Li, the Chinese Goddess of Light, and the Druids celebrated it as the wedding of Heaven and Earth, resulting in the enduring modern custom of a "lucky" wedding in June.”

Continue reading "A Midsummer Night's Marriage - As Lucky as 7-7-07?" »

Posted June 20, 2007 6:59 PM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

I was interviewed today for an article about interfaith weddings and in sharing stories about some of my couples I was reminded of a really interesting wedding I co-officiated several years ago.

The bride, a recovering alcoholic, wanted a libation ceremony that honored her connection to the earth and would not make her family run screaming from the room (a wine ceremony might). So we used water, which I asked the guests to help me bless.

If you happen to be looking for a non-alcoholic libation ceremony for your wedding, try this!

Continue reading "Wedding Libation Ceremony - No Alcohol, Just Love" »

Posted June 19, 2007 6:32 PM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Some people are saying that 7-07-07 will be the most popular wedding date of the century.

Wedding venues across the nation say the 7-07-07 wedding date has booked up fast as couples set their sights on pledging their love on a "lucky day."

You can just imagine what a popular day that will be in Las Vegas, especially since 7-7-7 is a winning jackpot!

Ever wonder why else the number 7 is so hot? We have 7 wonders of the world, 7 seas and 7 continents. Superstitions abound about the numbe. From the religious and spiritual perspectives, here are some of the reasons it is considered sacred.

In the Bible. The number 7 is a perfect and important number.

From the Jewish perspective: The number 7 is prominent in the Torah and the Zohar. God rested on the seventh day of creating earth, and hence, sanctified and deemed Sabbath on day seven. There are seven blessings over the wine are recited under the huppa during the marriage ceremony.

From the Catholic perspective: There are Seven sacraments, we have Seven Deadly Sins (Lust, Gluttony, Avarice, Envy, Wrath, Sloth, and Pride) and Seven Virtues (Chastity, Moderation, Liberality, Charity, Meekness, Zeal, and Humility).

From the Christian perspective: In the New Testament, Jesus tells Peter he must forgive "seventy times seven."

From the Native American and Wiccan traditions: Their are 7 directions: east, west, north, south, Above, Below and Within. There are 7 sacred ceremonies.

From the Hindu tradition. There are 7 energy centers in the body called chakras. They represent both physical and energetic centers and they are: root, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye, crown. In the Hindu wedding ceremony, the most important part is Saptapadi, the 7 steps around the sacred flame as 7 blessings are chanted.

From the Japanese Shinto religion: There are "Seven Lucky Gods" who preside over fortune.

In mythology: Innana, the Babylonian Goddess Queen of Heaven, had to descend 7 levels to the underworld stripping her jewels, clothes, crown, and ego (7 items in all) along the way in order to rescue her beloved Tamuz from the depths of hell.

Lucky 7

From sports to the stars: 7 comes up sacred again. In astronomy and astrology there are 7 planets that can be seen with the naked eye.In baseball, there was only one number 7 - Mickey Mantle.

Gambler's luck. In the game of craps, 7 wins in any combination. Lady Luck is a character who wears dice for earrings and they always have the number 7.

As you can see, ancient and popular thinking would seem to make 7-07-07 a helluva wedding date, a triple chance at good luck! If this is your wedding day, may it be a lucky roll of the dice!

Continue reading "Why is 7-07-07 Such a Hot Date for a Wedding?" »

Posted June 13, 2007 7:50 PM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Everyone is talking about 7-7-07. Some call it "the luckiest day of the millennium."

Couples around the country are booking this wedding date like crazy. Las Vegas will host a huge number of nuptials that day. Come to town and you will likely see a sea of white dresses, tuxedos and limos parading along the Las Vegas Strip!

The Garden Chapel at Flamingo Las Vegas noticed a surge in wedding bookings for this day a while back and decided to shoot for the best luck possible. They came up with a very cool idea!

They will host 77 weddings on 7/7/07. They will utilize 7 venues on property, including a number of poolside weddings, to accommodate all those lucky couples.

Some local Las Vegas couples are among the lucky 77 but Kris LaBuda, Flamingo Garden Chapel Manager, tells us that 94 per cent of the couples are coming in from out of town to wed.

LaBuda and staff are gearing up to be “Wedding Central” on this day. On very busy Saturday during the peak of Las Vegas' wedding season there would be about 31 weddings. So they will be handling more than double the love -- and logistics!

We asked Kris LaBuda 7 questions about the Big Day:

Continue reading "The Flamingo Las Vegas Will Be Wedding Central on 7-7-07" »

Posted May 18, 2007 8:06 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

On happy note, love sizzled in the air in Las Vegas yesterday as thousands of couples took a gamble on marriage and got hitched on Valentine's Day. Congratulations to all the newlyweds!

There are about 122,000 or more weddings in Vegas each year and a huge percent of them on the holiday of hearts! It was BUSY! Some people just flew in and out to exchange "I dos." Some are still hanging around to enjoy the town, and the honeymoon!

Chapels filled with couples in love. Venues throughout Vegas offered special wedding perks and packages. Elvis sang his heart out. Hotels were crammed with instant-honeymooners who moved from chapel to wedding night, with maybe a little celebratory meal in between.

The clerk's office -- which recently underwent a budget cut and change in hours -- was open for 24 hours to accomodate the Valentine's Day crowd. With $55 cash, and a dream, couples lined up for hours awaiting their turn to fill out the paper work for a marriage license. Then off they went... to get married.

Sigh. This is what Las Vegas is all about!

If you missed it this year, no worries. The great thing is you can visit anytime and easily tie the knot.

Since the other thing Las Vegas is all about is gambling, check out your marital odds at Vegas Wedding Odds, a goofy website that can tell you if yours match is made in heaven.

Continue reading "Thousands Get Married In Las Vegas on Valentine's Day" »

Posted February 15, 2007 8:41 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Yesterday, my hubby and I celebrated the two year anniversary of our Elvis Wedding. It was a wedding that was many years in the making.

Rev. Laurie Sue, husband Rev. Vic Fuhrman & Rev. Norm "Elvis" Jones

It all began about fifteen years ago, when Bridal Guide Magazine sent me to Las Vegas to write an amusing article on the wedding chapels on the Strip.

I visited just about all of them. Back then, I was a full time journalist and 7 months pregnant. As I walked in and out of chapels doing my research, concerned chapel administrators and ministers offered me a seat, a glass of water, and a recommendation that my wedding should take place sooner than later. They thought I was a pregnant bride. It truly was a hoot.

Many of the chapels were a little (or a lot!) kitschy in 1991 and to be honest, people thought getting married in Las Vegas was something that was done on a lark (you know, the way Britney Spears did). There was this "myth" that in the wee hours, after meeting at a bar and perhaps imbibing a bit too much, couples would stumble into chapels to get hitched. In those days, you could still get a license in the middle of the night. And Las Vegas was famous for quickie celebrity marriages.

I myself was shocked to learn that most brides and grooms were not drunk – and they ain’t supposed to be! – and that couples actually planned weddings and invited friends and family. It was so much fun visiting all the famous wedding chapels on the Strip, and along the way I had an Elvis experience that really knocked my socks off!

Continue reading "My Elvis Wedding at Graceland Chapel in Las Vegas" »

Posted January 19, 2007 9:05 AM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

Wedding Goddess Wisdom

I got a call from a bride who has been planning a Las Vegas wedding. She feels it will be less stress and more fun than spending a year and a year’s salary planning a big event in New York. It is important to her to do it her way!

Not all of her NYC based family and friends are happy about her decision. They feel they will be missing out on the opportunity to see her marry … and that she will be missing out on having them at her wedding. The drama that arose around this issue completely stressed her out, almost defeating her reason for wanting to marry here.

I was glad to direct her to my new meditation for stressed out brides. Give a listen at:
http://www.beliefnet.com/story/174/story_17479_1.html

It helped her calm down and get some perspective so we could come up with some creative solutions.

Continue reading "Do It Your Way!" »

Posted June 20, 2006 7:14 PM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This

Vegas residents Mike Vaccari and Regina Bacolas had never been married. They were still in search of that someone special.

On Dec. 26, 2005 they were ‘matched’ by eHarmony, had their first date on Jan. 8, and six weeks later were married in Laguna Beach, Calif.

They both love the outdoors — biking, running, hiking and camping — and can’t get enough of the local health food fare.

So, it’s no surprise that the first thing that caught their attention online was that they both had Whole Foods Market listed as one of the top five things they just couldn’t live without.

After their first phone conversation they realized they lived just two miles from each other in Summerlin. eHarmony must have had a premonition about these two.

Continue reading "eHarmony makes match of Vegas couple" »

Posted March 27, 2006 10:40 AM by | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email This